It’s So Loathsome I Wonder Why
(tune: I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry,
Hank Williams,Sr or Paul Gilley (1949))
See that nightly news report,
Enough to make you cry.
The news from all around the world –
It’s so loathsome I wonder why.
Each night it is more of the same,
It more than makes you sigh.
Crime and war, even politics –
It’s so loathsome I wonder why.
Will we ever see a world of peace,
Love for the other guy?
Will maniacs and madmen leave?
It’s so loathsome I wonder why.
The good of man is hard to see
When evil blinds your eye.
It takes so few to spoil all –
It’s so loathsome I wonder why.
REPLY:
What’s The News?
(tune: Close To You,
Bacharach & David (1963))
Why do moths fatally appear
Every time flames are near?
Like we do, they need to know,
What’s the news?
Why do we turn in day and nights
To see all the awful sights?
Like we do, we need to know,
What’s the news?
From the day that we were born
The world is filled with unknowns
And who knows what troubles will come along
So, we stay alert and feed our fears of old
And hope to avoid all that’s wrong
That is why ‘though it makes us frown
It’s bad news that abounds.
Like we do, we need to know,
What’s the news?
Talk Like A Pirate, Me Fair Laddie
(tune: The Rain in Spain (My Fair Lady),
Loewe and Lerner (1958))
(Cabinboy)
Jest some da rum, sez Mum ‘cos he’s a bum
(Cap’n (to Mate))
Yarrh, Ah think he’s hold o’ it
Yarrh, Ah think he’s hold o’ it
(Cap’n to Cabinboy)
Now, wha’s, ye scum, ta give da bum?
(Cabinboy)
Ah gives ‘em rum! Ah gives ‘em rum!
(Cap’n)
And how much of dat rum?
(Cabinboy)
Jest some! Jest some!
(Cabinboy, Cap’n, Mate)
Jest some da rum, sez Mum ‘cos he’s a bum!
Jest some da rum, sez Mum ‘cos he’s a bum!
(Mate)
Fer bilgerat, brig’dier, and ‘lubber …?
(Cabinboy)
Walk da plank and feed da fishes!
(Cap’n)
Now, wha’s, ye scum, to give da bum?
(Cabinboy)
Ah gives ‘em rum! Ah gives ‘em rum!
(Cap’n)
And why’s ye jest give some?
(Cabinboy)
Sez Mum! Sez Mum!
(Cabinboy, Cap’n, Mate)
Jest some da rum, sez Mum ‘cos he’s a bum!
Jest some da rum, sez Mum ‘cos he’s a bum!
Maple’s Tail
I am just a little wolf
In labradoodle clothing.
You may think I am a goof
When, asleep, I go roving.
But I have the wild instinct,
At least so in my deep dream,
To hunt and prowl my precinct
To maintain my self-esteem.
So I will do tricks for you
And you may feed me your snack.
But don’t think that’s all I’ll do
When I run wild with my pack.
Creature Verses Frankenstein
(tune: You Made Me Love You,
Monaco & McCarthy (1913))
You made me, Victor.
Then you wanted to do it
Later did you rue it
You made me ugly
A monster and you knew it
I guess you always knew it
You made me like this one night
Next day you left me alone
I knew noone and nothing
You left me on my own
You made me sigh ‘cause
I couldn’t even tell you
Everything’s so brand-new
I want some love, that’s true,
Yes, I do, indeed I do, but where are you?
Give me, give me, give me what I cry for
You know if you don’t there are people who’ll die for
You know you owe me, you do.
You made me cry more
So much I might kill you
Or taunt, haunt, and chill you
I wanted some love, that’s true.
No, said you, so said you, so now we’re through
Give you, give you, give you so much to cry for
You know I said people were going to die for
You know you made me hate you
You'll Pay the Fine
(tune: I Walk the Line,
Johnny Cash (1957))
I keep a close watch on this neighborhood
I make sure everyone does what they should
I expect our visitors will be good
But do the crime, you’ll pay the fine
I find it very, very easy to watch you
I’m alert to spot whatever you do
All will be okay if you just pass through
But do the crime, you’ll pay the fine
As soon as daylight turns into dark night
I patrol the streets with my big flashlight
I’ll go home happy if all is right
But do the crime, you’ll pay the fine
You find no place from me where you can hide
Because I have a whole posse on my side
We like it if to the rules you abide
But do the crime, you’ll pay the fine
I keep a close watch on this neighborhood
I make sure everyone does what they should
I expect all my neighbors will be good
But do the crime, you’ll pay the fine
Jogger on Our Street
(tune: (Ghost) Riders In The Sky,
Stan Jones, (1948))
A young jogger went runnin’ out one cold and rainy day
Upon his heels he rested as he went along his way
When all at once a mighty swarm of sharp-eyed guards he saw
Starin’ through their windows there with bile risin’ in their craw
Their stares were hot as fire and their glares were made of steel
Their phones were at the ready and suspicion he could feel
A bolt of fear ran through him as his safety he did doubt
For from their home, out stuck their heads and they began to shout
Hippie-move-along, Hippie-move-away
Strange jogger on our street
Their faces stern, their eyes were tight, and their stances a clear threat;
He’s working hard to catch his breath, but now he’d better get
‘Cause they’ve got to defend their homes, ‘though courtesy they flout,
They’ve got to keep any strangers movin’ through their route.
With the neighbors staring at him, one calls him a bad name
“If you wanna save your butt from jail, trespassing’s not a game.
So, jogger, change your route today, find another way to run
‘Cause if you come this way again, we guarantee you no fun.”
Hippie-move-along, Hippie-move-away
Strange jogger on our street
Strange jogger on our street
Strange jogger on our street
Your Pet Porcupine
When you have a pet porcupine,
You should pat with the greatest care.
There are sharp quills all down its spine
Where most other pets have soft hair.
You should choose too not to snuggle
Or to hug your friend very tight.
Playful wrestling is a struggle
Learning how to hold it just right.
It does not mean you cannot love
Such a prickly little buddy.
Be smart and get a good thick glove
So your hands do not get bloody.
You can with love give it a snack
And perhaps share your toys and balls.
Remember to stay a bit back
And remove the quills from your dolls.
