Sunday, September 29, 2013

Chasing White Rabbits


Chasing White Rabbits

When the hours grow long and the day goes stale
And I start to drowse at the end of the day,
I will sometimes glimpse a fluffy white tail
Round a corner to hurry on his way.

The sight awakes in me a curiosity
‘Tho his urgent business is not mine.
Where is he going with hopping velocity?
The wish to know my mind will entwine.

And, without rising from my lazy chair,
I will start upon my eager pursuit;
Into the hall, out the door, I follow there,
‘Cross the lawn, under the hedge, and down the chute.

I land with a bump in darkness all around
And must listen intently for his footfalls.
I, a blind puppy, crawl on the ground
As, led by scent and sound, adventure calls.

Blinking into the glaring light, I emerge
Where all in exaggeration loses scale.
Colors in wild pattern and hue splurge
To disguise and to reveal the quest’s trail.

Did he go Right or, mayhap, to the Left?
Under the six-foot peony, I look for clues,
Pushing aside leaves of considerable heft,
To locate the first path I will choose.

Nearly underfoot, I hear a sudden shout
From a tiny table and those gathered there.
Carefully, on my knees, I go to check it out;
It is a tea party set for a solitary chair.

None sit on that seat, as it hops up and down;
I believe it would never permit such an use.
The clamor from dishes, each other to drown,
To bar anyone listening from hearing their views.

Red saucers on one side and blue cups the other
Bicker about the differences between them.
The timid green teapot is caught in the bother,
His efforts to serve both sides only condemn.

Well, here I will not find my missing rabbit;
These dishes argue less for reasoned debate
And more for satisfying their ancient habit.
Back to my search before it becomes too late.

‘Tween the small pine and a towering grass,
I notice what may be that rabbit’s footprint.
I guess many creatures may this way pass,
But this earthy dent may be my best hint.

“Halt. Where are you going?” booms in the air.
I stop, for a dangling chain has challenged me.
“You will not follow my links from here to there,
Unless you possess the correct passkey.”

“I am just following the rabbit,” I say,
Searching my thoughts for how I might get by.
“I think that recently he came this way,
And left a message for this path to try.”

“Do you butter a sandwich on bottom or top?”
The watchword question is posed for my reply.
“Inside” is the answer that into my mind does pop,
And I am certain that response will never fly.

“Why do you ask?” I query as I think,
“Some like butter and others not so much.
With a sandwich, it is important what to drink.
I like milk, but water is okay in a clutch.”

“To see the sights I herein protect from all,
You must to us like-minded be proven.
You will not believe what dwells in this wall,
If to our ways you are not yet behooving.”

“Oh, well, can you at least tell me if you saw
A rabbit pass through your sacrosanct gate?
He wears a vest and often thumps one paw;
Oh, and by his watch, he is always late.”

“That snobbish rabbit is not welcome here.
He is so eager to please all whom he meets,
His words never mean what they would appear;
We must add so much to expose his deceits.”

Some other path then I will need to find,
If on my quixotic trek I would persist.
All ways equally unlikely for one so blind,
Arms out, I twirl myself into a spinning twist.

As I turn and turn faster, wind lifts me skyward
And carries me dizzily elsewhere to drop.
The landscape and its residents are all blurred
Until I alight in a dainty ice cream shop.

Oh, well, I think, my rabbit to me is now lost
When, at the counter, I see his furry butt.
Here is my sought after chance him to accost;
So I set my course at him coolly to strut.

But betwixt us, on one wheel, cycles a mouse
Juggling cones to deliver to the tables.
As he metes out his wares, all can hear him grouse
Of the illnesses his sugary trade enables.

“Why do you provide a service you so abhor?”
I pause to ask as he rolls over my toes.
He says, “If they will eat, let it be my store.
The money helps me live with their stupid woes.”

I hear the shop door’s bell give its small jingle
And see the rabbit’s backside retreat outside.
I reverse my way through all here to mingle,
But it is a swim against an incoming tide.

At long last, I make it out onto the street,
As odd in architecture as ever was seen:
A ranch house next to a tower of concrete,
Shop, church, and factory fill the wild scene.

The buildings brag to each other of their worth
And the needed preferment to occupy their lots.
Each thinks he is the reason Man is on Earth
And that all others to him should cede their spots.

“Did you see which way the white rabbit went?”
I ask the sidewalk stand who calls out “Next!”
“Depends if you’re buying; I gotta pay rent.”
A hotdog later, she points me to the triplex.

For one in haste, he takes many a detour,
I think as I scan the posters on the wall.
“Sex, violence, and fun amongst the gore,”
The middle advertisement does shrilly call.

“No, no, sir, you want Action with a Punch,”
The right playbill declares for his fifth sequel.
“Be serious,” argues the last of the bunch,
“Without 3-D, you films are never my equal.”

How do I guess that rabbit’s cinematic taste?
Was it a movie for which he was tardy?
Is that the reason thru unreason him I chased?
Does nosiness always make me foolhardy?

For tonight, this adventure will end now
As from my chair I get up to go to sleep.
In bed, I hope to get some rest somehow
Unless, of course, I start chasing black sheep.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

The Patriot's Ride


The Patriot’s Ride

(Thanks (?) to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow for the rhyming scheme)


Listen all citizens and you shall learn
Of the internet ride of patriot Verne.
Nightly he blogs from eight to five
With fire in his passionate drive
To warm the sleeping many to a burn.

He says to himself, “It is my duty,
When evil forces beset our nation
Attacking its rights, law, or beauty,
To lead us away from such temptation.
Neither one within nor two from overseas
Shall slip past me their corrupting sleaze.
For I shall be ready to fight the harm,
Through every website and data farm,
To awake the country folk with alarm.”

Then he bids his patient wife “Good night”
And turns to his laptop armed for the fight.
As the moon through his window peeks,
The first opponent for tonight he seeks.
Perhaps a Giant windbag will come his way
Spouting lies to lead citizens astray,
Full of intent on their minds to prey;
A huge chasm of an information gap
By its own emptiness to entrap.

And thus, the patriot begins to surf,
Wanders and watches with eager eyes,
‘Til in the abundance around him he spies
The thread that will lead him to battle,
A silly invasion of his well-known turf
With foolish conclusions and outright lies
That makes his deepest bones rattle.

Then he prepares to mount his reply
By force of wit or mastery of lore
To reach the spot where he can score.
And to gather to the fray an ally,
Facts and citations he draws from the store
Over which they together do often pore.
Above his keyboard, his fingers pause,
As he relishes the power of the cause,
And, for that moment, he does think
Of those unable to smell the stink
And at them he silently guffaws.

Out there, so unaware, lay the masses
In their blissful sleep until morn,
Ignorant as the day they were born.
May he find how to kick their asses,
And with clarion call stir their sense
That they should look to their defense.
Their complacency he must dispel
And their dreams that “All is well”.
Before the disaster comes and passes,
They must put on their looking glasses.
And suddenly, back from such thoughts intense,
He returns to his urgent task at hand
To spread his warning throughout the land,
And save those who would be saved
From the assault on them so depraved.

He grows impatient to join the fight,
And flexing his fingers, he starts to write.
Out goes tonight’s first post from Verne
To set the flare into all surfers’ sight
That now it is time for their turn.
To fill time until a response comes,
He scans for other trails of crumbs.
But mostly he watches his thread for nibbles
To see what a friend or foe scribbles.
In his head, his next salvo he composes
To what he thinks, mayhap, the answer poses.
And lo! As he looks, the message arrives;
Though hardly dampened, his passion revives.
He springs to laptop to drink it all in,
For it is the food on which he thrives;
Oh, if only it is not just name-calling!

A flurry of strokes on the keyboard,
A text onscreen, a silent shout in the dark,
And within, his guard dog’s warning bark
As bits and bytes on the server is stored.
That is all! And yet, through the wires and waves,
His post triggers both rantings and raves,
Its value measured in the nation it saves
While echoing from mountain to seaboard.
But his night’s work begun still has far to go
For he holds much that others need to know.
And though he has beheaded this first enemy,
Like hydra, they will grow yet another voice.
Focused upon the mission of his journey,
He turns to many topics to make a choice.

It is twelve by the clock in the hall
When he solves the problems of healthcare.
A simple solution for one and all,
So obvious that none can disagree,
Unless they biased idiots be.
For them, there is no pity to spare.

It is one as the grandfather chimes
When gun rights and wrongs are laid to rest.
It is a debate he has had many times;
Though it is clear to him what we should do,
Those more fuzzy in thought still grope and grasp
And bicker their feeble points to the last gasp.
But tonight he has shattered their view
With an argument indubitably the best.

It is two where he sits tapping this night,
(‘Though for readers, both earlier and later)
When he balances the scales of Left and Right.
A bit more weight here and there a lot less
And we can clean up this political mess.
To everyone’s desires, no system can cater;
But with proper pruning of the dead wood,
And some growth where it is most needed,
We will have politicians do what they should
Ere the people from the government have seceded.

You might guess the rest if you too surf the web.
How riders roll in and then out with the ebb --
How the posters come from all sides to debate,
Their ideas in jumbles there to conflate.
Chasing each other in the endless rounds,
Then jumping to the next battling grounds.
Under their pen names, they fight to and fro
And only pausing to find where next to go.

So through the nights rides patriot Verne
And so through the night go his words to us,
To every citizen who sleeps through the fuss --
A cry of alarm, mixed with much concern,
A voice off the mainstream where some never tread,
And a warning of things they never have read!
For, borne on technology we might all share,
Through all our lives, and to our heir,
The freedom to speak, and to hear if you wish,
Is a right with practice, not neglect, we earn.
We must do nothing to extinguish
The patriotic fire of those like Verne.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

The Win-a-Wench contest -- ah, college years


Why I Read or Refuse to Read “One Small Voice”

This might be a very good question if it did not have an answer. Without an answer it would make excellent material for Mssrs. Cornell or Reichenbach. However, this query must step down from that pedestal before attaining its height, because there is an answer. I read “One Small Voice,” because in this column and articles by the same authors, going back to “Catch-22”, I have found a philosophy with which I can identify. (I just realized I had better start working the extra information in here if this is all to be one paragraph. Last date: January 23, 1972 if you could call it a date. Actually I have considerably atrophized and am writing more to say why I read “One Small Voice” than to win a WAW contest.) That philosophy is if you cannot say anything nice, say something argumentative and make it sound nice. (However, if the prize is won, I, as any gentleman of refinement would, will accept it.) As I interpret “One Small Voice,” it attempts, and succeeds, at getting across the point and laying low its opponents not by hitting below the belt, but by hitting in the head. In some instances, of course, no goal will be scored with some people, because there is nothing vulnerable up that high, but such trivialities need not bother me as a reader. And so, thus, I read. And laugh.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Meeting with Myron


Meeting with Myron



As lord of the castle, one might expect I had more important matters to occupy my time and energies. But Myron is an old friend and has served my family and fiefdom for longer than anyone can recall. So here I am aside the moat, waiting unattended for him to tell me what is wrong this time.



Oh, I am so sorry to trouble you, Charlie,” Myron addresses me as he has since I was a mere lad sharing an afternoon of fishing and swimming with him. “You are so kind to come down. I would come to see you, but I cannot fit through any of the gates.”



Think naught of it, old friend. As steadfast and loyal of a protector as you have been all these years deserves my respect and attention.” I do not mention that his recent thrashing in the moat can be felt throughout the castle walls and floors and that nobody has slept well for two days with his nocturnal sobbing and moaning.



Old! So you think so too!” wails Myron. “Yes, at last, the end draws near for me, Charlie.” He slumps down into the water until only his tear-filled eyes show above the surface.



No, it is merely our friendship that is old. Myron, you are as ageless as the stones of the castle walls. You have lived in our moat while many generations of my family have come and gone and will do so for countless more.”



Look, Charlie,” he says as he rears out of the water and turns to show me his side. “See that bare spot there. And here. And over there. I am falling apart.”



Could you simply be molting? Maybe it is time for your next growth spurt,” I suggest cheerfully.



Do you really think so, Charlie,” he brightens momentarily, but quickly sinks into the water again. “No, no, my molting days are ancient history – this is rot! Decay! The Slide to the End!”



When did this skin change start, Myron? It seems early to be reaching such dire conclusions if we just need to cycle this stagnant water out with a nice fresh flow from the stream. I cannot remember when we did the last moat overhaul but we are probably overdue.”



Fresh water would be nice,” Myron concedes. “Could we add some shady shrubs along the edge of the southside too?”



Yes, certainly. I will have the chamberlain get the work started today.” Ah, problem solved, I think.



It won't really do any good though,” Myron continues. “It'd be nice to be comfortable in my last days. Maybe we could carve a small grotto under the drawbridge where I could crawl in and finish out of the way. I don't want to be any trouble, Charlie.”



You never have been any trouble, Myron.” I should have guessed that was too easy.



That is not really my name, did you know?” he says quietly.



What? Your name is not Myron? I have never heard anyone call you anything else. What is your real name?”



Alas, even I do not know. Six hundred years ago at the next solstice I was bound by a wizard named Myron. He dealt in magical protections, Myron's Mystical Monitors. And I was a servant he sold to your ancestors. At first, they called me Myron's Moat Monster, then Myron's Monster, and finally, as the generations of castle dwellers passed, only Myron. So you might as well too.”



Six hundred years?”



Next solstice.”



That is a long time. And you have never had a break in all that time. Is that what has you upset?”



Oh, no, Charlie. At the next solstice my bewitchment will be over. I will no longer be the only thing I know how to be after all these centuries.”



What will you do then?”



I will do nothing. I will be nothing, Charlie. With my geas gone, I will have nothing.”



But you will be free to do whatever you want, Myron. To go wherever you want. You could, of course, stay here if you wanted also.”



No, the time for my retirement was set.” Myron sinks into the moat, sobbing.



What am I to do?  I did not make the rules that bind him and I have no power to change them.  Myron has made no preparation to be anything but what he is.  Many of us do not.  But what a misery to know with a date certain when such an end will come.


 

Monday, September 2, 2013

Laboring Under Misapprehension


Laboring Under Misapprehension
(a totally non-humorous reflection)

Today is Labor Day in USA, although most European countries celebrate May Day (in remembrance of the Haymarket) as the moment to reflect upon labor's struggles, progress, and contributions. For many Americans, the 19th century violence surrounding the workers uniting against employers to demand more favorable working conditions and better compensation is a faded story we were told but did not need to live in our working years. Our Labor Day has happier evocations of the passage of summer and the commencement of last part of the year. We scarcely think of laborers as we make our sale-priced purchases from the busy salesclerks or watch highly paid athletes toil on our extra day of leisure this weekend.

I easily fall into the clueless group for whom Labor Day is merely a phonetic collection of three syllables to mark a federal holiday. I do not think of myself as a laborer, although I work for hourly wages for a large organization. My wages are not the $1.50 for a 10-hour day paid (often begrudgingly) to those six-days-a-week laborers in the 1880s, even when adjusted for more than a century of inflation. I have come to accept the elevation of the norm for such workers as I without questioning the past. I do not belong to a labor union and view them as yet another factor (often a very provocative one) in the puzzle of running a productive enterprise. They are an insulating and an isolating layer between me and my employer. I will more often complain about their existence and impacts on me through their self-interested negotiation than to recognize any need for gratitude for some concession they have won in the past that endures today as normal business.

I am not resentful of labor unions so much as dismissive of their ongoing necessity. I view their aggressive posturing as more habitual than required and an obstacle to cooperation. Our businessmen today have grown up in a more sensitive (and rule bound) era, but they have not changed their genetic human nature from the controllers of wealth of previous centuries. So, perhaps it is the never ending battle with different skirmishes that the labor union organizers rally their troops to fight yet today. My preference that it were not so may have as little reality as that for no crime nor war.

So, I also accept the existence of “organized labor” as I must accept “organized armies and police forces” to combat “organized (and unorganized) crime” and the other organizations that oppose them. They are responses that often take on the methods of their opposition. On Labor Day, like on Veterans Day, I should pause to think about the undesired necessity that has been (and still is) met by people who struggled and often sacrificed (their lives and their peaceful principles) to confront the opposition that might oppress us today without their actions.  Perhaps, tomorrow I can go back to my self-deluded dream world.