The Racing Snail

Did I ever tell you, dear child,
Of the world's greatest racing snail?
I took him to home from the wild --
At least I think he was a male.

I found him when I was a boy,
Perhaps then no older than you.
In him, I found my childhood joy --
I had faith in what he could do.

I taught him to follow my scent
As I ran outside in the grass.
He would come wherever I went
'Til he caught up with me at last.

He could go a half mile a day
And would follow me to my school.
It was only two blocks away --
He'd be home by ten as a rule.

But, alas, a child will grow up
And leave his playthings far behind.
When I was no longer a pup.
I went off, my future to find.

I traveled about the nation
Both north to south and east to west.
After years, I found my station
And settled down to do my best.

And here sat I just yesterday
And do you know what I did see?
That persistent snail came to say,
"Hey, there, do you remember me?"

The Talking Dog

I once did have a talking dog,
Although he was not so well-read.
Nary a chat he did not hog,
Saying what came into his head.

He would converse on anything,
No matter what subject you chose.
Opinions as facts he would fling --
Who could know from whence they arose?

My friends often argued with him,
Until they turned blue in the face.
I indulged his every whim,
For I learned I could not keep pace.

One day we saw two men debate
In a political contest.
Love, more than for his dinner plate,
Seized my old dog deep in his chest.

So, soon, he started to campaign
For any office he could find.
His dog catcher run was inane,
But the voters seemed not to mind.

From catcher to mayor, he climbed;
Each opponent he did defeat.
His speeches and jokes were so well-timed,
Their own windbags they would deplete.

I last saw him leaving our town
For challenges awaiting out there.
I knew not to where he was bound,
But home was much quieter, I swear.

The Woolly Caterpillar

I was a woolly caterpillar once
Although it was very long ago.
But I was considered the class dunce --
I never knew how long it would snow.

I did try to learn to prognosticate
With the other larvae of my kind.
But that brown fur I loved to replicate --
I just could not get it off my mind.

They say the black absorbs the summer heat
To warm a body through winter cold.
But I preferred the sable brown complete
And cared not a bit what it foretold.

When came the time at last to hibernate,
I found myself alas unprepared.
It was not a style to refrigerate
And my cold discomfort was not spared.

If you are ever a woolly bear worm,
I would give you this bit of advice:
Resist temptation and to rules hold firm
And do not end up a chunk of ice.

Grandfather's Adventures

When I was just a lad, I went to sea
On the full-blown sails of my fantasy.
I travelled to far isles of mystery
And saw sights that few other ever see.

My ship was powered by a serpent's puff
And my hold was full of all I could stuff.
I adventured in calm weather or rough,
Endlessly searching -- I couldn't get emough.

My stories you might find a bit too strange
And you may think the facts I rearrange.
But despite your protests, I will not change
My memories of that wonder-filled range.

Now, if you'll stay still for a tale of mine
And close your eyes as abed you recline,
I'll take you with me o'er that ancient brine
To a place where truths and dreams intertwine.

When Titans Clash

This poem was recently found on a repaired vase, perhaps of ancient origin. Or maybe written yesterday.
Beware when Titans clash
If you live on land below.
They stomp about most rash
And seldom watch where they go.

They seek more distant goals
With their heads above the clouds.
Their passions drive their souls;
Self-purpose their vision shrouds.

All focused on campaign,
They answer the challenge's call.
They will rule their domain,
Or, with all foes, they will fall.

Who they were ere the fight
Is lost in fog of battle.
The thought to do what's right
Gone in combative prattle.

Urge to win overwhelms,
Knocking over reasons why.
Power lust for the realms
Blinds the more foresighted eye.

What victory is won
In this heedless ruins' wake?
All that was is undone --
No prize left intact to take.

Oh, Titans, be at peace
Within that you now possess,
And leave our bits of Greece
Unflattened by your excess.

If Mitty Can Do It ...

"You are wrong. You are emphatically and thoroughly wrong," Mitty insisted. "It will be a waste of money to pursue this course any further. And a waste of breath to explain why."

"But we have two million dollars sunk into this software! Oh, why didn't we ask for your help sooner?" The chairman sat at the head of the conference table lined on one side with executives and department heads looking as despondent as he. The team of outside contractors sat cowed and silent in their seats on the other side. "Is there anything we can do to save this mess?"

"Oh, yes, I should say so," Mitty demurred. "The project was worth doing and it still is. I cannot promise to spend another two million dollars though," he smiled slyly. "It will take a week for my team. Let's say $10,000 and all the pizza they can eat."

"Dad, we're here!" shouted Walt Jr. The boys in the backseat rambunctiously wrestled to be the first to exit the car and run to the pizzeria entrance. Their Cub Scout uniforms, so neat when they arrived at his home for the den meeting, were all rumpled and untucked after the brief ride to their field trip destination. Mrs. Mitty, the Den Mother, had already arrived with her carload of scouts as neat as pins.

"Did you get lost again, dear?" She soon had his half of the boys filed in line behind the others, with their clothes straightened sufficiently to be presentable. "Now remember, boys, this is a place of business and Mr. Larose has been kind enough to invite us into his kitchen to see how it runs. We are guests, we are polite, we are orderly. Now let's go inside."

"General Mitty, the factory is ready for your inspection, sir." The lieutenant saluted.

"Very well, Rogers," Mitty said, returning the salute and accepting the clipboard from him. "Let's see what the folks in Engineering made of the plans. Good afternoon, Enrico. You have been busy, I see."

"Quite so, General. All was so smooth going until now. The blueprints are a creation worthy of Da Vinci, both genius and artist in one. We hope you are pleased with what we have done to bring your ideas to life."

"But? Do I hear you hesitate at a problem puzzling you, Enrico?" Mitty reassuredly urged the chief engineer to continue.

"Every part, it works perfectly," Enrico explained. "But, as we bring them together, the power consumption, it grows far more than the addition of the parts' individual requirements. We must solve this to continue, for the power source as specified cannot sustain the whole process."

"Ah, the trilateral synchronization effect is what you have missed." General Mitty laid the clipboard on the table nearby and took out his pen. "Components have their own personalities, so to speak, and without the proper alignment, timing, and separations in their assembly as a whole, they compete at least as much as cooperate. Here," pointing with his pen, "and here, for example, you should note orders for the assembly of the mechanism. Pull together as stated, the power will suffice."

"No, Johnny, we never put peanut butter and anchovies on the same pizza," Mr. Larose answered. Why did he let his wife talk him into this? Johnny, his son, was probably the worse of the bunch when it came to asking ridiculous questions. Time to wrap this up. "Okay, boys. Who wants to make a pizza?" Everyone's hand shot up. "Let's move over to the table there where we have a lump of dough for each of you."

"Walter, where have you been?" Mrs. Mitty demanded. "Can't you pay attention and help keep the boys on task? Watch those four and I will supervise these."

"OK, this dough has been mixed and knead by the machine we saw earlier. It is ready to be flattened into a crust to receive the toppings." Mr. Larose thought that should be simple enough and keep them busy for a while. Well, it is what he thought! "Uh, no, we don't need to throw the dough balls up in the air! Just lay it on the table and spread it out with your hands. Well, I guess you could make a bunny shape like your mother's pancakes. No, there is only enough dough to make a six inch circle -- you cannot make a extra-extra-large pizza from that much dough."

"Mr. Mitty, we are approaching the edge of our sun's gravity well. We are about to leave the solar system." The captain looked to him deferentially. He held no rank amongst the crew operating this space vessel, but they all knew they would not be here except for his vision and efforts. "We have gone further than any man or woman in human history. Would you care to address the crew and passengers?"

"Thank you, Captain Czebec. Friends, we have exceeded all limits placed upon us. We allowed our imaginations to guide us and our energies to carry us forth. We have escaped our petty problems by tackling those we were told were too big to be handled. May your dreams take you everywhere you want to go." Walter Mitty accepted the applause he heard in his head. It has been a great life. Who could want for better?