There’s No Business Like Snow Business
(tune: There’s No Business Like Show Business,
Irving Berlin (1946))
There’s no business like snow business;
Like no business we know.
Everywhere the people are pleading
To go where traffic will allow.
But snow all their travel plans impeding
When they are needing
That rescue plow.
There’s no people like snow people;
We smile as winters blow.
Even if our dinner must be put on hold
While we go venture out in the cold.
But we were ready as our equipment rolled –
Let’s go clean up that snow!
The snowdrifts, the ice coat, the blizzard, the breeze
The hazards that try to push us off the road
The whiteout, the black ice, the rains that freeze
The hope tonight we won’t need to be towed
The bump when we get an adrenaline rush
The salt which turns everything to slush
We get word before the snow has started
That we may need to roll before dawn
But the snowstorm does not go as charted
We’re broken-hearted
We can’t go on!
There’s no people like snow people;
We smile as winters grow.
Yesterday they told you, you would not go far
But tonight we cleared and there you are
Next day you can go anywhere in your car.
Let’s go clean up that snow!
Let’s go clean up that snow!
Blow Smoke in Your Eyes
(tune: Smoke Gets in Your Eyes,
by Jerome Kern and Otto Harbach (1933))
They ask me how I knew the facts were not true
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, Of course I deny
I am just blowing smoke in their eyes
(I-do-do, I-do-do, I-do-do, whoa)
They say, “Someday folks’ll know what you say ain’t so”
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, With my pants on fire
None will realize it’s my smoke in their eyes
So, I blather on and slather my con
So thick who could doubt my truth
And so soon, the facts have gone away
I am just oh so couth (just oh so couth)
Fake news may loudly chide lies I will not hide
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, So I smile and say
“When the True Master lies
Smoke gets in your eyes”
(smoke gets in your eyes)
Blow smoke in your eyes
Wrecked by the One, Big Beauty
(tune: The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald (1976),
Gordon Lightfoot)
The legislation was long from Congress handed down
Of the act they called the One Big Beauty.
The Act, they said, will be nothing to dread
When voters of November do their duty.
With tax cuts and GOP spree, 6 trillions (for free!),
And offset “fraud cuts” well short of that amount.
Those people it screwed may be rather rude
When the votes of November are counted.
The Act was the pride of the GOP side
Coming from the minds of their moneyed backing.
As Big bamboozles go, it was the Big-ly show
And sent welfare, education, and healthcare packing.
Making sweet deals with a couple of Big Wheels
They set off for their One Big Compromise.
Not a Dem did they heed ‘cause they had no need
‘Though some holdouts gave them a Tiny Surprise.
The talk in the hall caused an occasional stall
For only a few Nays could end the proceeding.
Reps from purple states were in difficult straits
And deficit hawks saw our debts all breeding.
The dusk went by and the amendments did fly
With the fears of November reversals.
But despite protests most all voted with the rest
Unable to perform as well as at rehearsals.
Through the House it squeaked as its foes were piqued,
But now the Senate needed to give its approval.
The Parliamentarian would read and decide if indeed
The Byrd Rule required some House parts’ removal.
The House Leader pled “please don’t change or it’s dead;
I’m not sure how long I can keep so many arms twisted.”
But the Senate has its ways and procedures to obey
And some Senators with problems they had listed.
Does anyone know where politicians’ spines go
When the debates turn from facts to fiction?
The partisans all say you must agree with OUR way
And give new meaning to Men of Conviction.
Many posture and pose and recite well-scripted prose,
Then vote “yea” with well-meaning hesitation.
Though the Act has many a flaw, for now make it law
And we will pledge to fix it in future legislation.
So the Act rolls out and the people shout
At each other as much as their politicians.
The internet streams with the bickering screams
As everyone prepares to defend their positions.
And way down below where less aid will flow
Folks may think the olden days have returned.
The Fifties were “fun” and anyone could be shunned
And our lessons since have all been unlearned.
Did You See The Polls, DeSantis?
(tune: Fernando,
by ABBA (1976))
Did you see the polls, DeSantis?
Remember long ago when you started your campaign.
In Florida, DeSantis,
You were talking to yourself and softly dreaming you had a chance.
You could hear the future cheers
And sound of music for your inaugural dance.
But you’re no closer, DeSantis.
Every hour every minute seems you drop precipitously.
We are so unsure, DeSantis,
You were young and full of it and some of us decided to try.
We are not too ashamed to say
Your rant ‘bout Woke and Disney we almost thought might fly.
There was something on the air that night,
That debate site, DeSantis.
They were staring there at you and them
For some mayhem, DeSantis.
But you never thought to crack a smile;
That’s a mistake.
If you keep doing the same again,
You’ll lose, you stiff, DeSantis.
If you keep doing the same again,
You’ll lose, you stiff, DeSantis.
He’s old and bad news, DeSantis,
And still many points you trail way behind his lead.
Did you see the polls, DeSantis?
Do you still really think more pampering Trump is what we need?
You can yet call out his lies.
How proud you’ll be to fight for truth and not his greed.
Just say something on the air some night
And show your fight, DeSantis.
We are waiting here for you and them
To discard that phlegm, DeSantis.
Though you may think you could lose,
You need a change.
If you keep doing the same again
You lose, and bad, DeSantis.
Yes, if you keep doing the same again
You lose, and bad, DeSantis.
I’m A Retriever
(tune: I’m A Believer,
Neil Diamond (1966)
Sung by The Monkees)
I wait all day for my boy to come home
Patience may well be my middle name
I want some fun and games
But only have dreams
Recreation is precious, so it seems
I’ll give a ball chase, ‘cause I’m a retriever
Anyplace you throw I will find
I’m your pup
I’m a retriever, tennis ball fever on my mind
You think fetch is more or less a trading game
You throw the ball and I bring it back
What’s the use of giving?
You’ll just throw again
Or try to trick me with a feign.
Let’s have a race, you overachiever,
Keep the pace running ‘round the yard
I’m your pup
I’m a retriever, tennis ball fever on my mind
Oh, you want to get my ball
Not as easy as it seems
You will only catch me in your dreams
Your turn to chase your speedy retriever
Lots of space where we can play
Got the ball
I’m a retriever but I won’t leave her at your feet
Yes, I got the ball ‘cause I’m a retriever
Won’t let it fall without some fun
Said, I’m a retriever, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, not a ball leaver
Said I’m a retriever. yeah, not a ball leaver
I said I’m a retriever, yeah, not a ball leaver
Home of the Roving Gnome
(tune: House of the Rising Sun)
There is a house way up north in Vermont,
Home to the Roving Gnome.
And many a mile has passed beneath his feet
And, boy, he’s glad he’s home.
His good wife is a traveler –
She books the trips with points.
The willing gnome follows along
To vacation joints.
The only thing a gnome really needs
Is a place to lay his head
And the only time he’s really happy
Is home in his bed
Oh, people, you may enjoy
Around the world to roam.
A gnome may smile but yearns to return
To the Home of the Roving Gnome
Well, he’s had a long trek to the South
And another to the hills.
But now he’s home – for a week –
To recoup from the thrills.
There is a house way up north in Vermont,
Home to the Roving Gnome.
And many a mile has passed beneath his feet
And, boy, he’s glad he’s home.
Greetings from Florida
(tune: Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh,
Alan Sherman(1963))
Hello children, little Mia,
Here we are at the Vistana.
The trip south was quite exhausting,
But we hear people back home are still defrosting.
We went driving through Virginia,
It’s no place for a beginner.
First you're flying, then you’re crawling
As you watch the car’s gas gauge just keep on falling.
All the highways are under construction
Or there is some crash obstruction.
And other cars are much faster.
Weaving through the lanes just inches from disaster
Now don’t think other states are better;
Every place has a pace setter.
You’re passed by trucks hauling double
And if you go the speed limit, you cause trouble
Far from home, in sunny Orlando,
Far from home, hablas Esperanto?
We may leave here, sooner or later,
If the pool has an alligator.
Far from home, we fought to get here for so long
And pushed through the traffic throng.
Oh, maybe we’ll just stay,
We’ve had a very nice day.
Northern children, back at home there,
How’s your local weather compare?
We may come home, if you miss us,
Or if the weather here gets too repetitious.
Wait a minute, hurricane warning,
And it's only fifty this morning.
We have paid for this vacation
But even Florida has its limitation.
It’s So Loathsome I Wonder Why
(tune: I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry,
Hank Williams,Sr or Paul Gilley (1949))
See that nightly news report,
Enough to make you cry.
The news from all around the world –
It’s so loathsome I wonder why.
Each night it is more of the same,
It more than makes you sigh.
Crime and war, even politics –
It’s so loathsome I wonder why.
Will we ever see a world of peace,
Love for the other guy?
Will maniacs and madmen leave?
It’s so loathsome I wonder why.
The good of man is hard to see
When evil blinds your eye.
It takes so few to spoil all –
It’s so loathsome I wonder why.
REPLY:
What’s The News?
(tune: Close To You,
Bacharach & David (1963))
Why do moths fatally appear
Every time flames are near?
Like we do, they need to know,
What’s the news?
Why do we turn in day and nights
To see all the awful sights?
Like we do, we need to know,
What’s the news?
From the day that we were born
The world is filled with unknowns
And who knows what troubles will come along
So, we stay alert and feed our fears of old
And hope to avoid all that’s wrong
That is why ‘though it makes us frown
It’s bad news that abounds.
Like we do, we need to know,
What’s the news?
Talk Like A Pirate, Me Fair Laddie
(tune: The Rain in Spain (My Fair Lady),
Loewe and Lerner (1958))
(Cabinboy)
Jest some da rum, sez Mum ‘cos he’s a bum
(Cap’n (to Mate))
Yarrh, Ah think he’s hold o’ it
Yarrh, Ah think he’s hold o’ it
(Cap’n to Cabinboy)
Now, wha’s, ye scum, ta give da bum?
(Cabinboy)
Ah gives ‘em rum! Ah gives ‘em rum!
(Cap’n)
And how much of dat rum?
(Cabinboy)
Jest some! Jest some!
(Cabinboy, Cap’n, Mate)
Jest some da rum, sez Mum ‘cos he’s a bum!
Jest some da rum, sez Mum ‘cos he’s a bum!
(Mate)
Fer bilgerat, brig’dier, and ‘lubber …?
(Cabinboy)
Walk da plank and feed da fishes!
(Cap’n)
Now, wha’s, ye scum, to give da bum?
(Cabinboy)
Ah gives ‘em rum! Ah gives ‘em rum!
(Cap’n)
And why’s ye jest give some?
(Cabinboy)
Sez Mum! Sez Mum!
(Cabinboy, Cap’n, Mate)
Jest some da rum, sez Mum ‘cos he’s a bum!
Jest some da rum, sez Mum ‘cos he’s a bum!
Creature Verses Frankenstein
(tune: You Made Me Love You,
Monaco & McCarthy (1913))
You made me, Victor.
Then you wanted to do it
Later did you rue it
You made me ugly
A monster and you knew it
I guess you always knew it
You made me like this one night
Next day you left me alone
I knew noone and nothing
You left me on my own
You made me sigh ‘cause
I couldn’t even tell you
Everything’s so brand-new
I want some love, that’s true,
Yes, I do, indeed I do, but where are you?
Give me, give me, give me what I cry for
You know if you don’t there are people who’ll die for
You know you owe me, you do.
You made me cry more
So much I might kill you
Or taunt, haunt, and chill you
I wanted some love, that’s true.
No, said you, so said you, so now we’re through
Give you, give you, give you so much to cry for
You know I said people were going to die for
You know you made me hate you
You'll Pay the Fine
(tune: I Walk the Line,
Johnny Cash (1957))
I keep a close watch on this neighborhood
I make sure everyone does what they should
I expect our visitors will be good
But do the crime, you’ll pay the fine
I find it very, very easy to watch you
I’m alert to spot whatever you do
All will be okay if you just pass through
But do the crime, you’ll pay the fine
As soon as daylight turns into dark night
I patrol the streets with my big flashlight
I’ll go home happy if all is right
But do the crime, you’ll pay the fine
You find no place from me where you can hide
Because I have a whole posse on my side
We like it if to the rules you abide
But do the crime, you’ll pay the fine
I keep a close watch on this neighborhood
I make sure everyone does what they should
I expect all my neighbors will be good
But do the crime, you’ll pay the fine
Jogger on Our Street
(tune: (Ghost) Riders In The Sky,
Stan Jones, (1948))
A young jogger went runnin’ out one cold and rainy day
Upon his heels he rested as he went along his way
When all at once a mighty swarm of sharp-eyed guards he saw
Starin’ through their windows there with bile risin’ in their craw
Their stares were hot as fire and their glares were made of steel
Their phones were at the ready and suspicion he could feel
A bolt of fear ran through him as his safety he did doubt
For from their home, out stuck their heads and they began to shout
Hippie-move-along, Hippie-move-away
Strange jogger on our street
Their faces stern, their eyes were tight, and their stances a clear threat;
He’s working hard to catch his breath, but now he’d better get
‘Cause they’ve got to defend their homes, ‘though courtesy they flout,
They’ve got to keep any strangers movin’ through their route.
With the neighbors staring at him, one calls him a bad name
“If you wanna save your butt from jail, trespassing’s not a game.
So, jogger, change your route today, find another way to run
‘Cause if you come this way again, we guarantee you no fun.”
Hippie-move-along, Hippie-move-away
Strange jogger on our street
Strange jogger on our street
Strange jogger on our street
At the Farmers’ Market
(tune: The Girl from Ipanema,
Antonio Carlos Jobim (1962))
Small and warm and brown and tasty
With my empanada I go walking
And as I eat
Each bite makes me go aaah
‘Round the booths, stroll like a gawker
At foods so good and oh so tempting
That when I pass
Each booth makes me go oooh
But I must skip by sadly
How can I sample all those treats?
Yes I would break my diet gladly
But each day, when I swallow my pills
They tell me food is why I'm ill
Small and warm and brown and tasty
With my empanada I go walking
And today that’s all I will get –
But yet …
I’m A Toad Again
(tune: On the Road Again, by Willie Nelson (1980))
I’m a toad again
That witch turned me into a toad again
My princess left me when my eye wandered
And here I am as a toad again
I’m a toad again
With my life going down the drain
Sitting in a pond, out in the pouring rain,
And here I am as a toad again
I’m a toad again
My bride was the daughter of the witch
Life with her was a strain
So to another I made a switch
And ‘cause of which
I’m a toad again
It just seem that’s my life’s bane
Seeing swarming flies coming at me again
Oh yum, I’m a toad again
What Do You Get When You Have a Baby?
(tune: I’ll Never Fall in Love Again,
Bacharach & Hal, 1968)
What do you get when you have a baby?
A small one to demand your attention
To do smelly chores which we won’t mention.
Oh, will I ever get to sleep again?
Oh, will I ever get to sleep again?
What do you get when you feed a baby?
You get a few burps and then the throw up
And you wonder if she’ll ever grow up.
Oh, will I ever get to sleep again?
Oh, will I ever get to sleep again?
I’ll tell you what it’s all about
Because I’ve been there, but now I’m out.
Beyond those chores, those chores that tire you.
I will tell you what to aspire to.
What do you get when you have a baby?
You start a life of trials and wonders,
A series of triumphs and blunders.
Although you will get to sleep again,
Life will never be the same again.
No, Life will never be the same again.
Various songs generally written with someone specific in mind to amuse. Saved here for posterity.
Poppy on the Sonogram
(tune: I'm Popeye the Sailorman,
by Samuel Lerner (1935))
Oh, I’m Poppy on the sonogram.
I’m Poppy on the sonogram.
When I get to the finish,
They’ll make me eat spinach.
Can I just stay where I am?
I’m one cutie fetus,
Rated at least “so sweet plus”,
Who’s growing so big in here.
I stretch out and roll ‘bout
And wish I could go out –
Waiting for the “all clear”
If you looks from my nose to toes
During my next doc exam,
You’ll see my great progress
Towards my new address.
I’m Poppy on the sonogram.
Oh, I’m Poppy on the sonogram.
I’m Poppy on the sonogram.
I’m near to the finish –
Okay, I’ll eat my spinach.
Let’s find out who I really am.
Off the Road Again
(tune: On the Road Again,
by Willie Nelson (1980))
Off the road again,
I am waiting here off the road again.
A quick swig when I took my eye off of my lane,
And here I am off the road again.
Off the road again,
Goin’ nowhere til I clear my brain,
Seein’ flashing lights coming’ for me again,
And here I am off the road again.
Off the road again,
Like a bunch of chumps, we had too many nips
They’re the best of grains
Distilled spirits sipped before our trips
And our trips
Are off the road again
Just can’t stay on that road again
Seein’ flashing lights coming’ for me again,
And here I am off to jail again.
Loan Shark’s Anthem
(tune: 500 Miles,
by Hedi West (1961), sung by Joni Mitchell)
If you miss a payment now,
You will go back on your vow.
You will see the interest grow day by day.
That’s fifty more, That’s fifty more,
That’s fifty more, That’s fifty more,
You will see the interest grow day by day.
Add one day. Add two days. Add three days. Add four days.
Now you owe 500 dollars on your loan.
500 dollars, 500 dollars,
500 dollars, 500 dollars,
Now you owe 500 dollars on your loan.
Not a shirt on your back,
Not a penny to your name,
I think that maybe you’ll never pay
Never pay, Never pay,
Never pay, Never pay,
You know I can’t let you get away.
If you miss a payment now,
You will go back on your vow.
You will see the interest grow day by day.
That’s fifty more, That’s fifty more,
That’s fifty more, That’s fifty more,
You will see the interest grow day by day.
2B70: You've Gotta Be You
(tune: I’ve Gotta Be Me,
by Walter Marks (1968), Sung by Sammy Davis, Jr)
Whether you’re young or whether you’re old,
Whether you are telling the troops,
Or the one being told.
You gotta be you, you gotta be you,
Who else can do you better than you?
You lived a life, with both joy and strife,
You built your career and cared
For your children and wife.
You gotta be you, you gotta be you,
Who else can do you better than you?
You reached for the prize, success in your grasp,
You ran a fine race, you’re still on the track.
Much is behind, more before your last gasp.
Let us pause a while, as we reflect back.
You were not alone, ‘tho you forged the path.
We have and still will cheer you on;
You get more with help, you can do the math.
So you should just continue on,
Whatever you do, we are your crew,
But you’ve gotta be you.
Winter Freeze
(tune: Summer Breeze,
by Seals & Crofts (1972))
See the lizards droppin’ from the palm trees
In the evening of Florida night
A little cold a-blowin’ in the breeze
Lets us know that’s a weird sight
Winter freeze makes them feel cool
Chillin’ by the jacuzzi at the pool
Winter freeze makes them feel cool
Chillin’ by the jacuzzi at the pool
See the geckos layin’ on the sidewalk
A little ice cube, stiff from tail to jaw.
Leave them alone there on the sidewalk
Until the sun can help them thaw.
Winter freeze makes them feel cool
Chillin’ by the jacuzzi at the pool
Winter freeze makes them feel cool
Chillin’ by the jacuzzi at the pool
If you need more:
Shopping Visit With COVID
Dreaming of COVID Christmas
Ponytail for Christmas
When Dragons Came for Christmas
Corrections Carols
The Municipal Office Party
The Reindeer’s Olympics
(tune: The Teddy Bear’s Picnic
(tune by Bratton (1907), lyrics by Kennedy (1932))
If you go to the North Pole today,
You may not believe your eyes.
If you go to the North Pole today,
You are in for a surprise.
For all reindeer who live thereabout
Gather together to cheer and shout
For today is when reindeer hold their Olympics.
Every reindeer, whether young or old, are on their feet today
There’s lots of marvelous things to see and wonderful games to play
Upon the snow where all can see
They’ll run and leap with their great esprit
For today is when reindeer hold their Olympics.
Olympics games for reindeer
The test to find their best with the skills that Santa soon will need
Test them, choose them every year
And find the highest flyers of their breed
See them gaily prance about
And take flight at a shout
Some may fly, some not quite
At the games’ end, Santa will decide who
Will go with him to train to
Pull Santa’s sleigh on Christmas night
If you go to the North Pole today,
You may not believe your eyes.
If you go to the North Pole today,
You are in for a surprise.
For all reindeer who live thereabout
Gather together to cheer and shout
For today is when reindeer hold their Olympics.
I Saw Daddy Catching Santa Claus
(tune: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,
Tommie Connor (1952))
I saw Daddy catching Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe with Mom.
He did not seem pleased
When he saw how she teased.
He exploded like a bomb
When Santa’s beard Daddy seized.
Then I saw Daddy choking Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white
Oh, what a scream then I could hear
With Mom yelling in Daddy’s ear
That he was squeezing Santa too tight.
He saw Daddy choking Santa Claus.
I did! I really did see Daddy choking Santa Claus.
I think Daddy’s been bad.
Then I saw Daddy throwing Santa Claus
Out the door and into the snowbank
He yelled, “Stay away from my wife
If you want to keep your life --
I don’t care how much eggnog you drank.”
He saw Daddy fighting Santa Claus.
I did! I really did see Daddy fighting Santa Claus.
I think Daddy’s been bad.
They Came Out of the Starry Sky
(tune: It Came Upon The Midnight Clear,
Sears & Willis (1849-1850))
They came out of the starry sky,
That fantastic team of deer,
Pulling his sleigh across the air,
They came again this year.
Oh, hooves in flight, above the roof,
Delivering presents from on high.
Children sneaking from their beds
To see if reindeer fly.
Upon their cloven feet they strode,
Prancing lightly on cloudy mists.
They need to reach in that one night
Each child on Santa’s lists.
Above any terrain below,
‘Tis their job; they do not ask why,
Nor ask they when or where or how
That those reindeer can fly.
Yet with the doubts in adult minds,
We may wonder what keeps them up.
Is it the dreams of wee children
Or oats on which they sup?
Physics claims it cannot be done
No matter how hard reindeer try.
But children know, if we do not,
That reindeer indeed fly.
For lo! The kids have seen the books
And the stories on the TV.
They’re taught to trust their Mom and Dad
And believe what they see.
Parents, beware of what you say
And don’t let children hear you lie.
By Santa’s beard, solemnly swear
That reindeer really fly.
Ads, Humbug
(tune: Greensleeves)
Alas that time has come again
To tick you off so thoroughly
And jingle singing will begin
Annoying with its revelry
Don’t let their joy annoy
Don’t let it make you blue
Don’t let in too much to cloy
And don’t let the humbugs bite you
They come to sell this time of year
To milk your generosity
They offer up good deals and cheer
Mixed well with their pomposity
Don’t let their joy annoy
Don’t let it make you blue
Don’t let in too much to cloy
And don’t let the humbugs bite you
You may choose what you will ignore
Dismiss their Frosty and Santa
You just keep the parts you adore
And sort the pitch from the manna
Don’t let their joy annoy
Don’t let it make you blue
Don’t let in too much to cloy
And don’t let the humbugs bite you
Grandma’s Out Hunting For Reindeer
(tune: Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,
Randy Brooks (1978))
Grandma’s out hunting for those reindeer
Who tried to run her over last night.
We may tell her she should let it go,
But Grandma won’t give up without a fight.
We found her in the snow this morning –
We thought she was dead by reindeer paws.
We put her on the couch and called Doc,
But now she’s angrier as she thaws.
She says the fat guy did it on purpose –
He was laughing as they launched the attack.
We told her to lay down and rest there,
But she swears she’s gonna get him back.
Grandma’s out hunting for those reindeer
Who tried to run her over last night.
We may tell her she should let it go,
But Grandma won’t give up without a fight.
We are trying to have a happy Christmas
While Grandma’s gathering up her gear.
We are unwrapping our Christmas presents
And Grandma’s getting ready to track deer.
We tell her Santa is a kindly soul
That none have ever found menace in.
But Grandma is so very determined –
Maybe our dinner will be venison.
Grandma’s out hunting for those reindeer
Who tried to run her over last night.
We may tell her she should let it go,
But Grandma won’t give up without a fight.
We’re Having a Hard Freeze
(tune: Heat Wave, Irving Berlin (1933))
We're having a hard freeze,
An arctic bomb hard freeze,
The temperature's sinking,
It has us thinking
It will be a blue lulu
It causes a hard freeze,
Start with a wayward breeze
In such a way that
The weathermen say that
It will be a blue lulu
Its climatology
Makes the mercury
Drop to minus three.
We're having a hard freeze,
An arctic bomb hard freeze,
The way that it moves
That thermometer proves
That it will be a blue lulu.
Shot Three, You’re Done?
(tune: Take Me Out to the Ball Game
Norworth & Von Tilzer (1908))
Take me out to the clinic
Take me out in that crowd
Line us up six feet apart
We all know this part by heart
Let me boost, boost, boost with the vaccine
If that don’t work, try again
For it’s one, two, three shots you’re done
‘Til the next CO-VID strain
For earlier shots/songs:
Shot 1:
COVID Vaccine Dues
Shot 2:
I'm Free
Monday Morning Quarterback
(tune: Sunday Morning Coming Down,
Kris Kristofferson (1969)
sung by Johnny Cash)
Well, I wake up Monday morning
With no part of my body that doesn’t hurt.
And I feel a need for a beer so bad
But Coach says I gotta eat yoghurt.
Then I think about six sacks yesterday
And I still taste the turf and dirt.
Then I turn on the television set
And force myself to watch the game replay.
I’d tried my best the day before
With plays but nobody I was tricking.
I took the hike and watched them come at me
And soon our punter was again kicking.
Then they’d drive and score a touchdown
And I’d go back out for my next licking.
Then I could sit back on the bench
Thinkin’ I lost someway, somehow, again today.
Oh, a Sunday football defeat,
It can make me feel all alone.
Who else is there to take the blame
When my blockers leave me on my own?
And there is no use for crying
At twenty-five yards for first down.
I know the blitz is coming
And I will soon be on the ground.
At the park I saw a daddy
With his eager little son he’d brought to see
His first hometown pro football game
And I could hear them both booing me.
Oh, why do I play this game
When on every down for my life I must flee?
And it’s dragging down my career
Like my disappearing dreams of yesterday.
Oh, a Sunday football defeat,
It can make me feel all alone.
Who else is there to take the blame
When my blockers leave me on my own?
And there is no use for crying
At twenty-five yards for first down.
I know the blitz is coming
And I will soon be on the ground.
I Can Get to Work Now
(tune: I Can See Clearly Now,
by Johnny Nash (1972))
I can get to work now, the rain is gone,
I can see all the fallen leaves in my yard
Gone are the dark clouds that had me inside
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) Leaf-Raking day.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) Leaf-Raking day.
I think I can rake it now, the pain is gone
All of the back achings have disappeared
Here is the clear day I've been waiting for
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) Leaf-Raking day.
Look all around, there's nothin' but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin' but blue skies.
I did get to work now, the pain is back,
I still have many fallen leaves in my yard
But gone are the huge piles that I made
It was a long (long), so long (long) day.
I’m gonna need a long (long), so long (long) Bone-Resting day.
I’m gonna need a long (long), so long (long) Bone-Resting day.
