Ponytail for Christmas

(tune: I'm Getting Nuttin' for Christmas)

I broke so bad all my habits
Corona’s gotten to me
I lived like cloistered abbots
Corona’s gotten to me
I hunkered down in my house
Just me and my patient spouse
Precaution let nothing us rouse
Corona’s gotten to me

     Oh, I’m getting a ponytail for Christmas
     My hair has grown way out to there
     I’m getting a ponytail for Christmas
     ‘Cause I haven’t seen a barber all year.

I sat all day in my easy chair
Corona’s gotten to me
Active as a sleeping bear
Corona’s gotten to me
I watched TV as in a trance,
Gave no risk the slightest chance,
Saw the world with a passing glance
Corona’s gotten to me

     Oh, I’m getting a ponytail for Christmas
     My hair has grown way out to there
     I’m getting a ponytail for Christmas
     ‘Cause I haven’t seen a barber all year.

I had no reason to groom
Corona’s gotten to me
When I never left the room
Corona’s gotten to me
But, wait, my wife is ready to flip
With scissors in hand to neatly clip
From my head my locks to strip
Corona’s gotten to me

     I’ll not get a ponytail for Christmas
     Nor wear my long hair in a bow
     I’ll not get a ponytail for Christmas
     ‘Cause my wife is my barber now.