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Shopping Visit With COVID
Dreaming of COVID Christmas
Ponytail for Christmas
When Dragons Came for Christmas
Corrections Carols
The Municipal Office Party
The Reindeer’s Olympics
(tune: The Teddy Bear’s Picnic
(tune by Bratton (1907), lyrics by Kennedy (1932))
If you go to the North Pole today,
You may not believe your eyes.
If you go to the North Pole today,
You are in for a surprise.
For all reindeer who live thereabout
Gather together to cheer and shout
For today is when reindeer hold their Olympics.
Every reindeer, whether young or old, are on their feet today
There’s lots of marvelous things to see and wonderful games to play
Upon the snow where all can see
They’ll run and leap with their great esprit
For today is when reindeer hold their Olympics.
Olympics games for reindeer
The test to find their best with the skills that Santa soon will need
Test them, choose them every year
And find the highest flyers of their breed
See them gaily prance about
And take flight at a shout
Some may fly, some not quite
At the games’ end, Santa will decide who
Will go with him to train to
Pull Santa’s sleigh on Christmas night
If you go to the North Pole today,
You may not believe your eyes.
If you go to the North Pole today,
You are in for a surprise.
For all reindeer who live thereabout
Gather together to cheer and shout
For today is when reindeer hold their Olympics.
I Saw Daddy Catching Santa Claus
(tune: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,
Tommie Connor (1952))
I saw Daddy catching Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe with Mom.
He did not seem pleased
When he saw how she teased.
He exploded like a bomb
When Santa’s beard Daddy seized.
Then I saw Daddy choking Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white
Oh, what a scream then I could hear
With Mom yelling in Daddy’s ear
That he was squeezing Santa too tight.
He saw Daddy choking Santa Claus.
I did! I really did see Daddy choking Santa Claus.
I think Daddy’s been bad.
Then I saw Daddy throwing Santa Claus
Out the door and into the snowbank
He yelled, “Stay away from my wife
If you want to keep your life --
I don’t care how much eggnog you drank.”
He saw Daddy fighting Santa Claus.
I did! I really did see Daddy fighting Santa Claus.
I think Daddy’s been bad.
They Came Out of the Starry Sky
(tune: It Came Upon The Midnight Clear,
Sears & Willis (1849-1850))
They came out of the starry sky,
That fantastic team of deer,
Pulling his sleigh across the air,
They came again this year.
Oh, hooves in flight, above the roof,
Delivering presents from on high.
Children sneaking from their beds
To see if reindeer fly.
Upon their cloven feet they strode,
Prancing lightly on cloudy mists.
They need to reach in that one night
Each child on Santa’s lists.
Above any terrain below,
‘Tis their job; they do not ask why,
Nor ask they when or where or how
That those reindeer can fly.
Yet with the doubts in adult minds,
We may wonder what keeps them up.
Is it the dreams of wee children
Or oats on which they sup?
Physics claims it cannot be done
No matter how hard reindeer try.
But children know, if we do not,
That reindeer indeed fly.
For lo! The kids have seen the books
And the stories on the TV.
They’re taught to trust their Mom and Dad
And believe what they see.
Parents, beware of what you say
And don’t let children hear you lie.
By Santa’s beard, solemnly swear
That reindeer really fly.
Ads, Humbug
(tune: Greensleeves)
Alas that time has come again
To tick you off so thoroughly
And jingle singing will begin
Annoying with its revelry
Don’t let their joy annoy
Don’t let it make you blue
Don’t let in too much to cloy
And don’t let the humbugs bite you
They come to sell this time of year
To milk your generosity
They offer up good deals and cheer
Mixed well with their pomposity
Don’t let their joy annoy
Don’t let it make you blue
Don’t let in too much to cloy
And don’t let the humbugs bite you
You may choose what you will ignore
Dismiss their Frosty and Santa
You just keep the parts you adore
And sort the pitch from the manna
Don’t let their joy annoy
Don’t let it make you blue
Don’t let in too much to cloy
And don’t let the humbugs bite you
Grandma’s Out Hunting For Reindeer
(tune: Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,
Randy Brooks (1978))
Grandma’s out hunting for those reindeer
Who tried to run her over last night.
We may tell her she should let it go,
But Grandma won’t give up without a fight.
We found her in the snow this morning –
We thought she was dead by reindeer paws.
We put her on the couch and called Doc,
But now she’s angrier as she thaws.
She says the fat guy did it on purpose –
He was laughing as they launched the attack.
We told her to lay down and rest there,
But she swears she’s gonna get him back.
Grandma’s out hunting for those reindeer
Who tried to run her over last night.
We may tell her she should let it go,
But Grandma won’t give up without a fight.
We are trying to have a happy Christmas
While Grandma’s gathering up her gear.
We are unwrapping our Christmas presents
And Grandma’s getting ready to track deer.
We tell her Santa is a kindly soul
That none have ever found menace in.
But Grandma is so very determined –
Maybe our dinner will be venison.
Grandma’s out hunting for those reindeer
Who tried to run her over last night.
We may tell her she should let it go,
But Grandma won’t give up without a fight.
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