Shot Three, You’re Done?
(tune: Take Me Out to the Ball Game
Norworth & Von Tilzer (1908))
Take me out to the clinic
Take me out in that crowd
Line us up six feet apart
We all know this part by heart
Let me boost, boost, boost with the vaccine
If that don’t work, try again
For it’s one, two, three shots you’re done
‘Til the next CO-VID strain
For earlier shots/songs:
Shot 1:
COVID Vaccine Dues
Shot 2:
I'm Free
On Vacation Again
(tune: On The Road Again
(Willie Nelson, 1980))
On vacation again
Just now choosing to leave the State again
The trips we couldn’t take with the virus back then
But with our shots we can travel again
On vacation again
Goin’ places now with our vaccine
Hopin’ folks we meet out there did not abstain
So we can safely go on vacation again.
On vacation again
Like a pair of gypsies we motor the highway
Not ready for a plane
Controlling our space as we travel on our way
And our way is vacation again
We couldn’t wait for this pandemic to end
Unused timeshare points were gnawing us like a pain
We just couldn’t wait to go on vacation again
What Did You Do On Vacation?
(tune: What Did You Learn In School Today
(Tom Paxton, 1963))
{Chorus}
What did you do on vacation today,
Bold traveler out there?
What did you do on vacation today,
Bold traveler out there?
I saw the trees and streams are still there;
I saw they are unchanged by the virus scare.
I saw the other folks' faces with no masks on;
They are seemingly blissful that task is gone.
And that’s what I did on vacation today
That’s what I did on vacation
{Chorus}
We went to the welcome reception party;
It had lots of free food which we ate hearty.
Our appetites were satisfied to the seam,
So we skipped dinner, went back, and ate ice cream.
And that's what I did on vacation today
That’s what I did on vacation
{Chorus}
I finger-painted lotion on my wife’s back;
She has a love of sun which I mostly lack.
I stayed inside with my coffee and laptop
While she went to swim laps, down and back, nonstop.
And that’s what I did on vacation today
That’s what I did on vacation
{Chorus}
I waited in line to order barbeque;
It was only an hour but it felt like two.
People on vacation are a patient lot;
AC helps waiting when outside is so hot.
And that’s what I did on vacation today
That’s what I did on vacation
{Chorus}
I settled down last night to watch Jeopardy,
But the resort has trouble with DirectTV.
It wasn’t back this morning, maybe not tonight;
I won’t know if I get the Final question right.
And that’s what I did on vacation today
That’s what I did on vacation
{Chorus}
We drove through the Shenandoah National Park;
We looked around for wildlife before it got dark.
They say if you picnic to beware of bear,
But we only saw them in the gift shop there.
And that’s what I did on vacation today
That’s what I did on vacation
{Chorus}
We had to switch units, so we went downtown;
In historic Harrisonburg we walked around.
When we saw enough, we thought where to go;
So my wife suggested, let’s go to Costco.
And that’s what I did on vacation today
That’s what I did on vacation
{Chorus}
We went to the resort timesharers’ update;
They want to sell more ‘though what we have is great.
We never learn anything new in this rehash,
But let them talk through it, then they give us cash.
And that’s what I did on vacation today
That’s what I did on vacation
{Chorus}
We signed up for a cooking demonstration;
If I tried it, it would be a cremation.
Although I cannot season or cook meat,
I was great at the part when we got to eat.
And that’s what I did on vacation today
That’s what I did on vacation
{Chorus}
I went for a hike on the Appalachian Trail;
My climbing pace is about that of a snail.
Soon my car disappeared from my sight,
So I went back to check if it was alright.
And that’s what I did on vacation today
That’s what I did on vacation
{Chorus}
Now the day has come for us our bags to pack;
We decide what to toss and what to take back.
Memories are most of what new we collected;
They take little room if our brains are connected.
And that’s what I did on vacation today
That’s what I did on vacation
We’re Driving in the Park
(tune: Singing in the Rain
(Freed & Brown, 1929))
We’re driving in the park,
Just driving in the park,
So glorious wheeling,
Out on a lark.
I sightsee the trees
That crowd all around.
I don’t feel the breeze;
My AC turned down.
Let the summer heat bake
Those we left in our wake.
We ate at Skyland
Topped with ice cream cake.
We drive and remark
Such fun on a lark
Just driving,
Driving in the park.
Here Comes The Rain
(tune: Here Comes The Sun
(George Harrision, 1967))
Here comes the rain, drip, drop, drip, Here comes the rain,
And I say it’s all wet
Oh my darling, it’s been a long dry sunny summer
Oh my darling, it’s been hard on golf courses here
Here comes the rain, drip, drop, drip, Here comes the rain,
And I say it’s all wet
Oh my darling, we had a week of nice weather
Oh my darling, we cannot have all days be clear
Here comes the rain, drip, drop, drip, Here comes the rain,
And I say it’s all wet
Rain, Rain, Rain, here it comes
Rain, Rain, Rain, here it comes
Rain, Rain, Rain, here it comes
Rain, Rain, Rain, here it comes
Oh my darling, it may clear again tomorrow
Oh my darling, until then we can snuggle near
Here comes the rain, drip, drop, drip, Here comes the rain,
And I say it’s all wet
Goin’ Home Day
(tune: My Way
(Frank Sinatra recorded 1968))
And now the end is near
And soon we near the final checkout
My friends, we’re out of here
It is the time for our homeward route
We’ve had our fun for sure
But now it’s back to the highway
We might want more than this
But it’s goin’ home day.
Rain days, we had a few
But then again, none were too gloomy.
We found things we could do
Even inside units were roomy
We did more than we planned
Found activities along the way
We might’ve done more than this
But it’s goin’ home day.
Yes, there were times when we thought of you
Not too many but more than a few
But through it all, we came for fun
And we’d get it until we’re done
We had a ball and did it all
But it’s goin’ home day
We drove, we ate and slept
We had our laughs and saw our sights
And not one tear was wept
Any problems were but mere slights
To think of all we did
To play our days away in our stay
Now it’s goin’ home day
For what is a trip, what do you earn?
If, to home, you do not return?
To see new things is truly fun
But you miss home comforts you’ve spun
Such fun to go to see life’s show
Now it’s goin’ home day
Shenandoah Vacation
(tune: Oh, Shenandoah)
Oh, Shenandoah,
I come to see you
I’m here, you rolling river.
Winding around,
It is such a view.
For two weeks I’ll stay
While I’m on vacation.
Oh, Shenandoah,
I love your valley
I’m here, you rolling river.
I feel so free
To dilly-dally.
For two weeks I’ll stay
While I’m on vacation.
Oh, Shenandoah,
I roam your forest
I’m here, you rolling river.
On the wild hills,
You’re nature’s florist.
For two weeks I’ll stay
While I’m on vacation.
Farewell, goodbye,
I must now leave you
Goin’ home, you rolling river.
Oh, so fondly
I bid you adieu.
Away, I’m going home
To my Green Mountains.
Anhedonia
(tune: Pachalafaka, by Irving Taylor (1958)
Also sung by Soupy Sales and by the Muppets)
Anhedonia, anhedonia
It’s sweeping all over the nation
Anhedonia, anhedonia
A symptom of our long stagnation
Oh, I know the term
Will make you sadly squirm
For it reminds us of bygone days
There’s no pleasure in
This year’s endless tailspin
Leavin’ us in a bleary weary daze.
It’s not apathy
Nor quite misery
For those don’t express what we’re feeling
Even fiddlesticks or
I-can’t-get-no-kicks
Just don’t describe with what we’re dealing
But anhedonia, anhedonia
Makes us wonder if it cured by vaccines
So confused we’ll stay
Lest comes the day
We find out what anhedonia means
We find out what anhedonia means
The Lonely Rabbit Revisited
Oh woe, I am such a wretched rabbit --
Homebound is now a deep-seated habit.
The past year I ate undelivered treats,
And now I think my rump has ingrown pleats.
I used to have a job to do each year,
Now I have nothing as Easter grows near.
Once people would root for me; that was nice;
And now they want to shoot me; maybe twice.
No candy to make, no baskets to fill,
No prep, no eggs, and no children to thrill.
Another Spring gone down the CO-VID drain;
Check back next year if I’m canceled again.
I’m Free
(tune: Born Free (Matt Monro))
I’m free, as free as a sneeze blows,
I’m free from my sweat clothes,
I’m free to leave now my home.
Go free, and crowds will surround me,
Their noise will soon drown me
Each time I go out my door.
I’m free with no walls between us.
I'm free with vaccine inside,
I have no need to hide.
I’m free and I can start living
‘Cause I have been given
Shot two to set me free.
We'll Go Once More A-Roving
(Thank you to Lord Byron)
Soon we'll go once more a roving
Staying out all the night,
Getting economy moving,
And hopes again burning bright.
For COVID outwore its dread,
And vaccine raised up its shield,
And though we must mourn our dead,
Now we can go afield.
Through this pandemic we strove,
But threat may return again,
Yet we'll go once more out to rove --
May loss not be in vain.
COVID Vaccine Dues
(tune: Folsom Prison Blues)
I see the vaccine coming, it’s rolling on her cart
I ain’t seen such a crowd since the COVID start
I’m stuck in my livingroom and it’s losing its charm
But vaccine is rolling near to shoot me in the arm
When COVID was first starting, the governor told me
“Citizens, let’s be smart, let’s lockdown for safety.”
But she shot me once today just so I won’t die,
When I saw that needle coming, I released a long held sigh.
I know there’s still folks waiting in their lonely home
They’re maybe drinking too much and wishing they could roam.
Well, my first turn is coming, I know I’m not quite free,
But those people will too be shot, and then they can see me.
When they shoot me again, and they let me leave the house,
I bet I will go a little farther with my spouse,
Far from my livingroom, maybe some vacations,
Then I will hurry home, back to my TV stations.
Stir Crazy After This Past Year
(tune: Still Crazy After All These Years by Paul Simon)
I sat in my old chair
In my house last night
It seemed so much the same old
I just whiled
Away watching the same shows
And threw back a few more snacks
Stir crazy after this past year
Stir crazy after this past year
I’m not the kind of man
Who tends to socialize
But I did go out
In those bygone times
‘Though I did not need to bar-hop,
A movie date was okay
Stir crazy after this past year
Stir crazy after this past year
Still under warnings
Masked up
Hiding
Waiting for my vaccine
Give me patience
Hold on now
It’s all gotta end
Now I sit by my TV
And I watch the news
I wonder if I’ll get loose
One fine day
When I would not be infected
By a crowd of my peers
Stir crazy after this past year
Stir crazy
Stir crazy
Stir crazy after this past year
COVID Love Song
(tune: Running Bear by Johnny Preston)
In the deep red Texas lived Billy Bob, young besotted swain,
While in New York, far away, was his beloved Marilou Jane.
From the blue state, she would not travel, nor have him come to her.
During COVID to see each other, they zoomed to confer.
Marilou Jane loved Billy Bob
With a love over the ‘net.
Billy Bob loved Marilou Jane
With needs that were unmet.
He couldn’t fly across the country ‘cause most flights were disallowed.
For his Marilou Jane he would have bravely faced any crowd,
But Marilou Jane would not risk it, ‘though so lonely at home;
During COVID in her blue state, from seclusion she would not roam.
Marilou Jane loved Billy Bob
With a love over the ‘net.
Billy Bob loved Marilou Jane
With needs that were unmet.
Billy Bob drove from Texas, Marilou Jane did not stir;
No lockdowns or regulations would stop him reaching her.
When he got there, he proposed marriage outside her door,
But she said, “Without long distance, I can’t love you anymore.”
Billy Bob loved Marilou Jane
With a love over the ‘net.
Marilou Jane loved Billy Bob
Only if they never met.
Ponytail for Christmas
(tune: I'm Getting Nuttin' for Christmas)
I broke so bad all my habits
Corona’s gotten to me
I lived like cloistered abbots
Corona’s gotten to me
I hunkered down in my house
Just me and my patient spouse
Precaution let nothing us rouse
Corona’s gotten to me
Oh, I’m getting a ponytail for Christmas
My hair has grown way out to there
I’m getting a ponytail for Christmas
‘Cause I haven’t seen a barber all year.
I sat all day in my easy chair
Corona’s gotten to me
Active as a sleeping bear
Corona’s gotten to me
I watched TV as in a trance,
Gave no risk the slightest chance,
Saw the world with a passing glance
Corona’s gotten to me
Oh, I’m getting a ponytail for Christmas
My hair has grown way out to there
I’m getting a ponytail for Christmas
‘Cause I haven’t seen a barber all year.
I had no reason to groom
Corona’s gotten to me
When I never left the room
Corona’s gotten to me
But, wait, my wife is ready to flip
With scissors in hand to neatly clip
From my head my locks to strip
Corona’s gotten to me
I’ll not get a ponytail for Christmas
Nor wear my long hair in a bow
I’ll not get a ponytail for Christmas
‘Cause my wife is my barber now.
Shopping Visit with COVID
Thanks to Clement Clarke Moore for the poetic bones
‘Twas a month before Christmas, we were stuck in the house,
Nobody out shopping, just me and my mouse;
The stockings were unstuffed, limp in their hooks,
In hopes that we could fill them from our PC notebooks.
The children were oblivious of the changes this year,
With heads full of excitement that Christmas was near.
But mamma with her wish list and I at my screen
Were settling down with a large pot of caffeine.
We fired up the laptop and started its browser,
Mamma the navigator and I the clicking mouser.
Up flew the windows full of treasures and trash,
All available for a few piles of our cash.
The glow from the laptop upon our faces
Added to the allure of the digital showcases.
I feared I would be an all-night web hopper,
When up popped an online personal shopper.
An animated avatar with a gleaming smile
Was eager to complete our shopping profile.
As rapid as bits and bytes of data could fly,
She compiled the info she needed to buy.
“Now Macy’s, now Ebay, now Target and Costco,
On Amazon, Etsy, and on The Home Depot.
Into the online cart! Onto your credit card!
Holiday shopping does not need to be hard.”
As snowflakes are entrancingly tossed on the breeze,
Costs mounded with taxes, shipping and handling fees.
So up to our credit limits, the purchases grew;
Gifts for children, parents, and the mailman, too.
With sounds of coins tinkling, I thought of my bank
And how quickly then my account balances sank.
As I shrugged and watched her continue to shop,
I wondered what on earth could make her stop.
She was drawn on my screen as small lively elf,
Resembling somewhat the imp on our shelf.
A clipboard of our data she held in her arm,
With sprinkles of glitter enhancing her charm.
Ages, sexes, sizes, and dietary restrictions
She spun together for purchase predictions.
She knew all the sites where to find the best deal,
And when she found one, she gave the cutest squeal.
Gladly, she auto-filled the forms for each order,
Arranging the best terms the site would accord her.
With a check off her list, she moved on to the next,
Confirming the details recorded in the specs.
She took such joy fulfilling each requested task
With so much verve, we clicked “yes” when she would ask.
A wink of her eye as I watched her fudge it,
Soon made me trust she would stay within our budget.
Without a pause, she did our whole shopping list,
Each gift bought, shipped, and electronically kissed.
She asked if there was more she could do today
And requested we complete the company’s survey.
We thanked her profusely and saw her pink blush,
And with other users waiting, she needed to rush.
As she faded from the screen, I thought I could hear,
“That was a blast! Let’s do it again next year!”
Dreaming of COVID Christmas
(tune: White Christmas)
I’m dreaming of COVID Christmas
Unlike any I’ve known before.
Where joy seems trying
And we’re all sighing
To rue changes we can’t ignore.
I’m dreaming of COVID Christmas
With every card I write tonight.
May your house be safe and airtight
And may you get this card alright.
I’m dreaming of COVID Christmas
Like I hope we’ll not have again.
We hope to see your smiles
When we can travel miles
To share a happy refrain.
I’m dreaming of COVID Christmas
As a bygone and faded memory.
May we get through this and be free
To gather around next year’s tree.
COVID Thanksgiving
(tune: Over the River)
Over the wifi and through the net
To Grandmother’s house we go.
Let Zoom show the way
To stay safe today
And limit CO-VID’s flow.
Over the wifi and through the net
Oh, how the plague does lurk.
It rides on air
And goes anywhere
As precautions we shirk.
Over the wifi and through the net
Is how to safely play.
On camera smile
And chat a while.
Be safe on Zoomsgiving Day!
Vaccines Are The Prez' Best Bet
(tune: Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend)
In Wuhan they may die for Mao –
They are very cunning, I say.
But here, so I have heard somewhere,
We prefer to go our own way.
A mask on your face
Is overtly cautionary,
But vaccines are the Prez’ best bet.
Masks are a disgrace
And look so ordinary.
They muss my fine hair
And dull the flare of ties I wear.
Sick grow cold
If they are old
And we all lose our lives in the end.
But reviewed or warp-speed
These shots are what I need.
Vaccines are the Prez’ best bet.
Pfizer
BioNTech
Moderna
‘Zeneca
Talk to me Misters Johnsons
Tell me all about it
There may come a time
When a Prez needs a lawyer,
Then pardons may be a good bet.
There may come a time
When enough angry voters
Think I’m not-so-hot,
But with the shot, then they will not.
I’m your guy
When stocks are high,
But pay no heed to growing debt.
When hardship arouses
And some lose their houses,
Vaccines are the Prez’ best bet.
I’ve heard of measures
That are safely science-based,
But a Prez needs to trust his guts
I can take pleasures
In those doctors I abased,
I know more so,
To end sorrow, give them chloro.
Time rolls on –
Many are gone
But all will vanish eventually.
But bad cold
Or bad flu
Vote for me or I will sue.
Vaccines are the Prez’ best bet.
Vaccines
Vaccines
I don’t mean lockdowns
‘Cause vaccines are the Prez’ best bet.
Masks for the Masses
It’s not that I would not like to see
Their many faces smiling back at me.
But until this current crisis passes
I will be making masks for the masses.
Plucked down at my handy sewing machine,
I sew the masks to ease the quarantine,
To help us all go outside safe behind
A simple mask, each with its own design.
So, when I pass you on the street someday,
‘Though I will be at least six feet away,
You can know even when nobody asks,
I am happy you have one of my masks.
Dedicated to my sister, Amy, the mass mask maker
Her reply:
There’s a woman in our community
Who sews every day inscrutably
Obsessed with the task
Of making face mask
To help with Covid immunity.
COVID-19 Soliloquy
To mask or not to mask – Is that the question?
Whether ‘tis nobler in public to suffer
The inconvenience of government orders,
Or to bare face before a sea of people,
And by opposing risk them: to die, to weep;
No care; and by this act to say we end
The sacrifice and thousand irksome pangs
That we were subject to? ‘Tis rebellion
Selfishly to be wished. To endanger,
Perchance to kill; aye, there’s the rub,
For in pain of others, what guilt may come,
If they shuffled off this mortal coil,
Should give us pause. Is there respect
That makes sacred and dear all human life?
For who would demand their whims and comfort,
Their vanity’s relief, their free man’s choice,
The encouragement of a stranger’s smile,
The religious shelter of their beliefs
That neglects other unblessed heathens,
When they themselves might our safety protect
With mere cloth mask? Who not the burden bear,
To care and think beyond their selfish want,
But that the fear of endless quarantine,
The undetermined future, chafes kindness
To its most slender and close dimensions,
And focus on the more immediate
Than feel for others that we know not of.
Thus unease slightly loosened begs for more,
And the strength of our forced resolution
Is weakened by the thought of its return,
And social efforts of import and merit,
With this failure, their purpose goes awry,
And lose the rank of hero. Lo, watch out,
Here are the police. Cop, in your handcuffs,
Be all my breath exhaled.
The Lonely Rabbit
The lonely rabbit sits in his hutch
Wishing to go out for work or fun.
It is so long since he’s been in touch
With family or friends or anyone.
He had plans for this upcoming spring –
Many places to go and things to do.
With treats, baskets, and presents to bring
To hide in nooks where nobody knew.
And now he’s told to stay at home,
As a non-essential worker.
No more allowed streets nor fields to roam,
He feels that he is such a shirker.
