D.O.C. Office Party

Corrections Carols

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The Prisoners’ Carol

To Melody of : O, Christmas Tree

O, D.O.C., O, D.O.C.,
Your prison bars confine us.
O, D.O.C., O, D.O.C.,
May prison soon refine us.
You teach us what is right and wrong.
You teach us how to get along.
O, D.O.C., O, D.O.C.,
May prison soon refine us.

O, D.O.C., O, D.O.C.,
You give our life such structure.
O, D.O.C., O, D.O.C.,
You give our life such structure.
And when we return to our homes
Better thoughts will now fill our domes.
O, D.O.C., O, D.O.C.,
You give our life such structure.

O, D.O.C., O, D.O.C.,
Your prison bars confine us.
O, D.O.C., O, D.O.C.,
May prison soon refine us.
You teach us what is right and wrong.
You teach us how to get along.
O, D.O.C., O, D.O.C.,
May prison soon refine us.

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Go Rest You Weary Officer

To Melody of: God Rest You Merry, Gentlemen.

Go rest you weary officer,
Leave your woes behind here.
Remember the next shift
Will now put on their gear
To relieve you from the stress
When inmates start to wear.
O time off for leisure and home,
Leisure and home
O time off for leisure and home.

In bed so snug, in your own home,
You can catch up on your sleep
And dream in peaceful rest
‘Til your alarm does beep.
A few hours of your own,
Remaining day does creep.
O time off for leisure and home,
Leisure and home
O time off for leisure and home.

Soon enough you return again
To take your daily post
And guard all those poor souls
In the imprisoned host. 
How you will guide them from the wrong
Where your help is needed most.
‘Til time off for leisure and home,
Leisure and home
‘Til time off for leisure and home.

“Fear not,” says your supervisor,
“You are the one in charge.
The inmates will work the rules,
But obey, by and large,
Remain firm and be vigilant,
And your duty fairly discharge,
‘Til time off for leisure and home,
Leisure and home
‘Til time off for leisure and home.”

You used your training every hour
To maintain the site’s calm.
You faced conflict ‘fore it starts
And dealt with great aplomb.
You ran your unit as it should,
Part sheriff and part Mom.
Now, time off for leisure and home,
Leisure and home
O time off for leisure and home.

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Way Out On A Bender

To Melody of: Away In A Manger.

Way out on a bender, too drunk to see straight,
He swerved from the highway and hit the park gate.
Stars twinkled above as he passed out below,
That very drunk driver to prison will go.

It was not his first time reckless at the wheel,
And the judge was less willing to make a deal.
“Your mother may love you and think you are sweet,
But to the rest of us, you belong off the street.”

“So cool your heels awhile and clean up your act,
Six months to serve is the penalty we exact.”
He sits in his jail cell as holidays pass
To reflect how alcohol should not mix with gas.

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‘Cause DOC is Watching You Now

To Melody of: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

You better watch out.
You better not stray.
You better behave
Both night and day
‘Cause D.O.C. is watching you now.

They have your charges,
Sentences too.
Better be careful what you do
‘Cause D.O.C. is watching you now.

They check in when you sleeping
And know when you’re awake.
The E.M. tells them where you go,
They are very hard to shake.

You better watch out.
You better not stray.
You better behave
Both night and day
‘Cause D.O.C. is watching you now.

With officers on the street
Checking everyone on their beat,
The D.O.C. is watching you now.
 At jobs and home, with whomever meets you,
They make sure you are staying on cue,
‘Cause D.O.C. is watching you now.

The neighbors will be happy

To know you’re doing well.
If you stop being scrappy
And get off that worn path to Hell.

So! You better watch out.
You better not stray.
You better behave
Both night and day
‘Cause D.O.C. is watching you now.

They check in when you sleeping
And know when you’re awake.
The EM tells them where you go;
They are very hard to shake.

You better watch out.
You better not stray.
You better behave
Both night and day
‘Cause D.O.C. is watching you now.

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Did You Learn What I Taught?

To Melody of: Do You Hear What I Hear?

Said the teacher to the inmate,
Did you learn what I taught?
Up here on the board of slate,
Did you learn what I taught?
A fact, a fact,
Simple in its way
With value if you tuck away,
With value if you tuck away.

Said the parolee to his employer,
Do you see my degree?
I’m working to be a lawyer,
Do you see my G.E.D.?
A start, a start
Upon which to build,
To become somebody more skilled,
To become somebody more skilled.

Said the employer to the governor,
Do you know what I know?
Corrections molded me a learner,
Do you know what will grow?
A seed, a seed,
Planted in knowledge,
Can a mis-started life salvage,
Can a mis-started life salvage.

Said the governor to all the people,
Let us spend taxes wisely.
Proclaim it from hall and steeple,
With our schools, be not miserly.
The stray, the stray,
Can be brought back home,
And needs not hopelessly roam,
And needs not hopelessly roam.

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The Good DOC Commissioner

To Melody of: Good King Wenceslas.

The Commissioner looked on
The work of Corrections,
And proudly his eye was drawn
To all fulfilling their missions.
With duty, they bent to task,
‘Though often unnoticed,
Performing all he did ask,
To leave no detail missed.

“Deputy, come stand by me,
And help me solve this puzzle.
What thought have you of how we
Can reward such bustle?”
“Sir, there’s hardly any money.
Budget’s tight, costs mounting;
It’s long since times were sunny,
According to accounting.”

“Bring me pad, and bring me pen,
Let’s brainstorm ideas;
A snack maybe, now and then,
Or coupons for tortillas.”
The two of them went to work
To find a way to say,
From the top to lowest clerk,
We owe more than we pay.

“Sir, perhaps we should say that,
As often as we can.
For them, we’ll go to the mat,
As they do, to a man.”
“In their footsteps, we should walk
With the devotion they show,
And with our acts, as much as talk,
Remember the debt we owe.”

So, led by them, he leads them,
With determined drive
To make a workplace gem
Where all can work and thrive.
Let us appreciate the boss
As he does of us all,
And join him in shared sauce
To answer duty’s call.

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Rudolph, the Under-aged Felon

To Melody of: Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Rudolph, the under-aged felon,

Was caught while in the act.

But even though you saw him

He would just deny the fact.

Nobody could ever trust him

Nor would even turn their back,

Lest they became the victim

Of Rudolph's next attack.

Then one Marine recruiter came

To offer some hope:

"Rudolph, you're so fill of fight,

Why not serve your country right"?

Now everyone claps with pride

And cheers him when they can.

Rudolph, you under-aged felon,

You're off to Afghanistan.

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The Workcrew Carol

To Melody of: Deck the Halls.

Paint the walls and clean the highway,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Service hours is how you repay,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

For the harm you did to others

Fa la la, la la la, la la la.

Bringing shame to dads and mothers,

Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
  

See the happy people greet you,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Here is a chance to start anew,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Replace the bad with good deeds,

Fa la la, la la la, la la la.

Relieve instead of cause the needs.

Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
 

Feel your value in your labors,

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

As you help, not hurt, your neighbors.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

You'll feel better for what you do,

Fa la la, la la la, la la la.

And now follow a path that's true

Fa la la, la la la, la la la.

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