Three Men in
a Tub Redux
Neil and Doug slept too
late and the bus departed without them.
That missed Earth Day trip
starts this tale and triggers this poem.
Perhaps you have heard the
story all you want, so hide your eyes,
For here again is the
adventure of a small boat and three Tech guys.
Too late for the bus but
awake too early, this pair to the City does go
To lower Manhattan at
Saturday's dawn when city life is slow.
Through the unpeopled
streets they walk and explore;
Only garbage and delivery
trucks replace the horde's roar.
Wall Street is tall and
windswept, echoing a faint silence,
And Trinity Church in its
glory houses an absent presence.
Down streets and across,
the grid leads them around and about
Until their path at the
Battery Park waterfront peeks out.
The sun is now up through
a light fog, toasting the air,
And the residents appear,
shifting from here to elsewhere.
Neil and Doug pause to
scan the river, its traffic and flow,
When behold, in a small
sailboat, it is Diego.
Climb aboard, he offers,
and let's share this morning ride.
He manuevers the tiny
craft to pull up to the wharfside.
Neil and Doug look down at
the drop to the water,
Then taking the plunge,
they join the intrepid boater.
The bold little craft
swings out to challenge the river's tide
Which washes downstream
against the sail's force applied.
Our trio is swept forth,
down, out, and into the harbor;
Progress resisted,
windpower overwhelmed, they flounder.
We need a repair, says
Diego, looking over the boat's stern,
So to the north shore of a
small nearby island they turn.
I will make the fix, he
says, while you look around.
So Doug and Neil scramble
out and onto the ground.
Hey, look, there are
buildings. Wonder where we are.
Let's wander to check it
out; it is not very far.
So, over they stroll and
enter by a back door
Into ages of litter and
dust on the floor.
The corridors pass by
large rooms with glass half walls,
Open for inspection by
everyone patrolling the halls.
Abandoned in pieces, the
rooms' stories are muted,
And, by curiosity, farther
in, the adventurers are guided.
The hallways brighten as
they enter the building main
And emerge at a dock where
a half sunken ferry was lain.
Two men are at work
feeding wood into a fire
When they spot the
interlopers and respond with ire.
Whats you boys doing here,
yelled the little man in the hat,
This here U.S. Guvment
property, and youse gotta scat.
Joining his partner, the
large man moves the axe to his shoulder
And, for our young men,
the air grows suddenly colder.
Under guard, four abreast,
they march back whence they came
While little man lambasts
them with abuse and shame.
At Doug's side, We ought
to break your legs, he says.
The goliath grunts and
Neil jumps a foot sideways.
Despite threat and dread,
back to where the boat is moored,
They load in with Diego
and push off with a broken board.
There are not many who
ever can match their claim
That expelled from Ellis
Island is now part of their fame.
The battle against the
river once more they renew
But their efforts and
plans again go askew.
They cross east to
discover at Governors Island they arrive,
The Coast Guard
headquarters with its docked fleet of five.
Their curiosity was
untamed by their Ellis Island escape,
So in amongst the cutters
they sail and wide-eyed gape.
Surrounded by walls of
steel out of the water erected
The sail goes limp for all
winds are deflected.
But the windlocked lads
have gained the needed tool,
That broken old board, now
a paddle in the tranquil pool.
With many a stroke, they
turn themselves about
And with indeed many more,
they eventually get out.
The sun has grown high and
the tide has at last turned;
To get to Hoboken is top
priority for all here concerned.
A zigzag course across the
Hudson's unassisted flow
Should now be possible
although still slow.
So off to the west at a
hope filled angle they sail
And, finally, progress
eases up on their travail.
They approach the Jersey
side and tack to the east
And their eagerness for
home is greatly increased.
But Diego is not happy
with the rudder's performance,
As he peers over the back
and takes another glance.
His fix has loosened; he
needs to do it again,
So he passes forward a
small cable to straighten.
With a small twist here
and a bend or two there,
Neil gets the cable ready
for the repair.
Diego leans over to
rethread the rudder
With confidence and skill
and maybe a mutter.
The repair continues as
New York side grows nearer;
Doug sees faces onshore
and hopes soon for a steerer.
Diego sits up at his
helmsman position and with a snap,
It is off to New Jersey,
hopping a passing ship's whitecap.
In midriver, Diego decides
the repair is not quite right,
And again requests the
cable reshaping to correct the slight.
From Neil, another twist
and another couple more bends,
And the cable back to
Diego to make more amends.
Diego resumes his
midcruise repairs, when Oops he does utter
As overboard to the
river's bottom goes that part of the rudder.
All is not lost, says
resourceful Diego to calm his crew,
We just need a bit of
string, like a lace from a shoe.
Doug at his pair of
“modern” plastic loafers does look,
While Neil, for a loose
string, the plug in the hull mistook.
With a quick little tug
before anyone can stop him,
He retrieves this bit of
cord, so crucial yet slim.
Oh, what a surprise! A
trinkle of water starts to come in
And it is then that Neil
announces he cannot swim.
In the boat are two
lifejackets; Diego wears one.
Getting Neil into the
other is the next course of action.
The plug once pulled
afloat will never return,
So, to its new duty, it
goes over the stern.
Doug's Korfam shoes are
now buckets to bail
As over the sides the
incoming water they flail.
The piers of Jersey City
are a welcoming sight;
When the boat reaches, to
them it's steered tight.
Skirting the shore, poking
in and out and around,
The crew creeps back to
Hoboken's safe ground.
Neil leaps from the vessel
and plants a kiss on the ramp,
Relieved to the utmost to
be saved from a fate too damp.
Life on land is celebrated
with a trip to Washington Street
With the most wonderful
Cuban meal they ever will eat.
