The Age of Asparagus

(tune: The Age of Aquarius
(from Hair, Rado, Ragni, and MacDermot (1967)))

When the grown child is in the parents’ house
And college life confronts Mom’s
Then change will guide her diet
And meat will give her qualms
This is the dawning of the Age of Asparagus
Age of Asparagus, Asparagus, Asparagus

Broccoli and tofu hummus
There are now vegans among us
No more red meat, eggs, milk, or cheese
Only eating from stems and trees
Novel cuisine exhibition
Balanced against malnutrition
Asparagus, Asparagus

When the grown child is in the parents’ house
And college life confronts Mom’s
Then change will guide her diet
And meat will give her qualms
This is the dawning of the Age of Asparagus
Age of Asparagus, Asparagus, Asparagus

Let the vegan, let the vegan in, the vegan in
Let the vegan, let the vegan in, the vegan in
Let the vegan, let the vegan in, the vegan in
Let the vegan, let the vegan in, the vegan in

Oh, let her in, c’mon
Now everybody just eat along
Let the vegan in
Improve your heart and let the veggies in
When you are hungry, have veggies now
Got to let her in your heart and let her diet in
And when you feel like you’ve been mistreated
And cannot live this way
Just open your mouth and sneak ice cream in