Creator

Creator
(April 1, 1969)
“What are you called?”

“I am Captain David Robert Allen of the United Planets Stellar Forces.”

“Captain David Robert Allen is dead.”

What is this, Allen wondered. Where is he? Who are those voices? He could not take account of himself. He felt that he could not see, but that he knew there was nothing near him to see. Only those voices. Who are they?

“I am Captain David Robert Allen.”

“David Robert Allen is dead.”

“Where am I?”

“You are dead.”

Dead? Again he is told he is dead. But he could not remember. What happened? The ship? Yes, the ship! Where is the ship? What has happened to it?

“I am not dead.”

“You are.”

“How?”

“Your craft was destroyed in battle.”

The battle! Yes, that's right! He had been sent out to destroy the enemies of the State. A band of revolutionaries, inflaming the minds of men against the theocracy. Yes, he had been sent to do his duty, to destroy every last one.

“Is everyone dead?

“From your vessel, yes.”

“Where am I?”

“At your final destination.”

Final destination? Starport 54? No, this cannot be Starport 54. He was not to report there until he saw the last revolutionary die. The battle? Maybe they were all there. No, no, only a small fraction were there. With the help of God, it will still be months before he gets them all.

“Who are you?”

“Voices.”

“What is your purpose?”

“To test you.”

A test? Yes, yes, the test!! The test to enter paradise! He is dead and the voices are the gate-keeper. He would pass the test and meet his Maker. He is a devout, loyal member of the theocracy. He does penance and prays and gives offerings, And he follows the orders of the theocracy. He is a great warrior. Respected. Honored. Yes, he would meet his Maker.

“I am ready.”

“State your name.”

“David Robert Allen.”

“Of what society are you?”

“The benevolent and pious society of Earth and the United Planets.”

“What is your function in this society?”

“I am a loyal soldier of The Church of the Creator, chosen to defend against all enemies and heretics.”

“Means?”

Means? What kind of question is that? What other means are there?

“Death.”

“What are your beliefs?”

“I believe in the words of the Holy Bible.”

“Do you believe in and practice the universal ethic code?”

“Please explain.”

“What you know as the ten commandments and the golden rule.”

What kind of question is that? He has just said he believes in the words of the Bible. Of course he practices it. Everyone must. Why, it is even his job to execute those who do not and confiscate their possessions. They must just want a reinstatement of his devotion.

“Yes, I believe.”

“And practice?”

“Of course.”

Silence. Is that muttering he hears? What is wrong? He observes the ten commandments. Thou shall have no other gods before Me. Thou shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. Remember the sabbath day …

“Are you respected by other men?”

“Yes. I am very much respected. I am a religious man and a great warrior. I have been decorated for my bravery and ingenuity in battle. People flocked to my residence to see the trophies of my many battles. I ...”

“Enough. Where do you wish to dwell in the life hereafter?”

“Man shall dwell with his Creator.”

“Why?”

“Man was made in the image of his Creator.”

“That is true.”

Acknowledgement! He passed! They have accepted him as qualified to dwell with his Maker. He shall live eternally in paradise! Yes, he passed!

“It is decided by your traits of character and actions of life that you are destined to dwell eternally with your creator. Are you prepared to meet the creator of all men?”

“I am ready to meet my Maker.”

And the eternal flame engulfed him.

“Man, like his creator, makes a mockery of good in a lifetime of evil.”

IN DEFENSE OF APATHY

Written as Alfred Chamberlain (1972)

{Reference: Jules Feiffer's “Little Murders”}

I do not really care for myself that apathy has been maligned, but for the sake of the unenlightened, I have chosen to speak out.

Apathy has been grossly misunderstood. It has found itself cast amongst such emotional catch-words as stagnation and death. It has been repulsed on first sight and decried as the eventual bane of all civilization. Men have turned their strongest forces of destruction, from propaganda to physical force, against apathy. And yet apathy, although scarred, remains entrenched, although snobbishly overlooked. Endurance, such as this, demands examination.

What is apathy? The word is of Greek origin, coming from a- (not) + pathos (suffering). Simply then, it means “not suffering.” Allow Noah Webster to finish the definition; “want of feeling; lack of passion, emotion, or excitement.” But that is all textbook and too highly academic; when does apathy overcome the average man on the street, on the campus? When he is about to get hurt or just after. And why? Simply because he does not want to suffer the hurt, a fully natural reaction.

In that elementary statement lies the clue to what apathy really is. Apathy is not the abandonment of emotion for mere dogma, but the shedding of the entanglement of emotion is for protection. In the interest of self-preservation, when being assaulted from all sides, one logical solution is obvious: remove some of the weapons from the hands of your enemies. The damage done is thus lessened to merely the level of the physical and kept away from the delicate region of the mental.

But apathy is not necessarily a fully selfish act. In the most rudimentary stages, apathy may be highly self-centered without a social conscience, but apathy in its highly developed stages is much more socially aware than the current garble of emotionalism. Emotionalism is prey to contradictory feelings about the same matter: one person loves vegetables and another hates them. But the apathist is not entangled by all of these contradictions, because he has removed himself from being motivated by emotions. The apathist is motivated by the facts which clearly point towards his goals, towards self-preservation in its crude forms and to such ideals as nonviolence in its sophisticated forms. The apathist, no longer suffering the forces of passion, is able to make clear-headed decisions on his actons. A man who does not feel the grief of the death of a friend will not feel the thirst for revenge; he will have patience for facts and due processes. The apathist is an impartial judge, a man free of prejudice, a man who can grasp the concepts of equality, freedom, and social responsibility. If the apathist wants something for himself, he wants it for everyone.

Do not confuse the apathist with a man who knows no joys. The apathist enjoy his activities as fully as anyone else, but he refuses to be blinded in their pursuit. He will yield his tempoarary amusements to achieve his goal even if that goal is just self-preservation. If his goal is nonviolence, then he will absorb a physical hurt before allowing somebody else to suffer it.

It is not the practice of apathy which can be questioned; rather it is the goals of the apathist. If an apathist chooses to be a successful businessman and lacks all scruples, then he can be destructive. But the apathetic businessman is no more destructive or deplorable than the emotionally motivated greedy businessman who seeks to trample on others to reach his pinnacle of success. A businessman of this sort may appear apathetic, but his emotions of greed and hatred for others expel him from the region of the apathist.

To a practical man, apathy may seem to be foolish martryism. Let the practical man think that if he wants, but apathy does not deserve all the discredit it has received. From its purest form as a reflex to its development of social conscience, apathy is clearly a justifiable solution to the confrontation of a problem. Seek rather to dispel the forces of disillusionment which lead men to apathy.

Our Most Revered Sin

OUR MOST REVERED SIN

I am proud of you, son.

Take pride in all your work.

Be a proud American.

Have you no pride, you jerk?

The cardinal sins of a mortal life have been catalogued many times (Proverbs, Pope Gregory I, Dante, Buddhist klesha, and others), but the sin that appears on every list is Pride. Many a tragic character (from Greece to Hollywood) has tripped upon the stage from a dangling hubris. Although the foremost of the deadly sins, it is the one to which nearly everyone lays a boastful claim to possess or aspire.

We exalt in our pride – our sense of elevated accomplishment whether personally achieved or as identification in groups. What could possibly be wrong and sinful about the confidence, satisfaction, fulfillment, and warm fuzzy feelings of Pride? Like the other cardinal sins (Lust, Greed, Wrath, Envy, Sloth, and Gluttony), Pride is a motivational seed from which destructive actions may grow. When we raise our self-esteem up with Pride, we may reciprocally lower our esteem of others with Disdain, perhaps Contempt. When we become proudly satisfied with our attainments, we may cease to drive further to do more. When we reflect so self-favorably on our efforts and sacrifices, we may seek entitlement to compensation and privilege from others, whether they share our high opinion or not.

Although the other major vices may arise as naturally and as temptingly from our human emotions, rarely are we told to value them as personal assets in ourselves or others. Pride is the sneakiest as it creeps amongst us wrapped in the sheepskin of virtue. Pride prepares the path for us to allow indulgences in the pleasures and reliefs of other sins. We deserve a bit of Lust, Greed, and their bad company, for we have earned tiny forgivenesses for an occasional slip or misdeed.

Buddhism recognizes that we may pacify the poisons (kleshas) that corrupt our beings, but purging them is impossible. Therefore, I can neither command you to cast out Pride nor instruct you on how to avoid its presence in your emotional palette. At best, I can merely offer these suggestions to Hide the Pride.

1. Compliment others. Find your best features in other people and praise those qualities there rather than in yourself. “My trustworthy and rich friends have kindly supported my candidacy and I humbly thank them.” If seen as guilty of the same traits, the fault of the association is in the minds of the listener, not any self-congratulatory words of yours.
2. Swallow it. As bitter a dish as that might seem, remember you are the chef who created it. “In the interest of progress, let's forget our grievances and pool our resources.” Well, maybe wave the spoon for a final flourish so people can see your concession, but then it's over, right?
3. Prove it – do it again. Be your own naysayer to challenge whether your past achievements are mere fortune and flukes. “You ain't seen nothing yet!” People will be impressed with your tenacity and self-effacing attitude.
4. Include others. So little in life is accomplished alone. “I want to acknowledge my worthy opponent for all the novel ideas he brought to this contest. We all will be stronger as the race goes on without him and his contributions.” Nobody will remember those “novel ideas” were “crackpot schemes” a week ago nor recognize them by the time you retread them as your own.
5. Go where nobody knows your name. Nothing is quite so humbling as a lack of reputation to validate your ego. “What, do I look like a professional assassin? No, really, I have only done a couple of amateur jobs of more personal than financial interest to me.” With enough anonymity, even you will wonder who you are.
6. Shirk the honor. The trophy collecting dust after the deed adds nothing to the worthiness of the deed, but does refresh the complacency of been-there/done-that whenever passing in front of your eye. “Your thanks are more than I need; it was my privilege (duty, pleasure, good luck) to be the one to save (the day, the building, your pet, you).” Of course, there are those seeking to bathe in your glory in organizing the ceremony and conveying the award, but you spare them the unhealthy boost to their prides as well in eschewing those group hugs.
7. Fixate on your faults. How many teaspoons of self-loathing does it take to spoil a whole banquet of self-esteem? “Oh, I would gladly give up all my money to be more generous. But, alas, I am too suspicious of everyone.” The hopelessness of self-improvement (a feature of the disillusionment of Sloth) will prevent your need actually to fix your fixation, so you can reuse this check on your pride for years/decades to come.
8. Expand your vocabulary. Avoid “pride” and “proud” by learning to choose your words better. “I am very pleased in how you have grown, my son. Do your best in all you do. Be a patriotic American. Have you no shame, you jerk?” Maybe your underlying thoughts are the same, but you have broken the literal link. When it is your self thinking down the wrong path, is a bit of self-deception just what is needed to change the street signs along that route?

Whether our souls are held to account for transgressions in thought or only in deed is a matter of theological debate. But for me, my fine reader, you may be as proud of your success (or failure), your heritage, and your community as you please, as long as you permit me the same internal ground for strutting that stays off your toes. If you can control the gateway to prevent your unwholesome thoughts from pouring into activated behaviors treading upon us outside your egosphere, we should be content in the actuality of accord without frustrating ourselves in your internal battles to behave civilly. I make these suggestions to myself as well as you, but I do not proclaim excellence in my ability to apply them everyday. Let us practice together that we might separate the laudable rewards of Pride in doing right from the destructive temptation of Pride to lose care for the people and the world around us.