Our Most Revered Sin

OUR MOST REVERED SIN

I am proud of you, son.

Take pride in all your work.

Be a proud American.

Have you no pride, you jerk?

The cardinal sins of a mortal life have been catalogued many times (Proverbs, Pope Gregory I, Dante, Buddhist klesha, and others), but the sin that appears on every list is Pride. Many a tragic character (from Greece to Hollywood) has tripped upon the stage from a dangling hubris. Although the foremost of the deadly sins, it is the one to which nearly everyone lays a boastful claim to possess or aspire.

We exalt in our pride – our sense of elevated accomplishment whether personally achieved or as identification in groups. What could possibly be wrong and sinful about the confidence, satisfaction, fulfillment, and warm fuzzy feelings of Pride? Like the other cardinal sins (Lust, Greed, Wrath, Envy, Sloth, and Gluttony), Pride is a motivational seed from which destructive actions may grow. When we raise our self-esteem up with Pride, we may reciprocally lower our esteem of others with Disdain, perhaps Contempt. When we become proudly satisfied with our attainments, we may cease to drive further to do more. When we reflect so self-favorably on our efforts and sacrifices, we may seek entitlement to compensation and privilege from others, whether they share our high opinion or not.

Although the other major vices may arise as naturally and as temptingly from our human emotions, rarely are we told to value them as personal assets in ourselves or others. Pride is the sneakiest as it creeps amongst us wrapped in the sheepskin of virtue. Pride prepares the path for us to allow indulgences in the pleasures and reliefs of other sins. We deserve a bit of Lust, Greed, and their bad company, for we have earned tiny forgivenesses for an occasional slip or misdeed.

Buddhism recognizes that we may pacify the poisons (kleshas) that corrupt our beings, but purging them is impossible. Therefore, I can neither command you to cast out Pride nor instruct you on how to avoid its presence in your emotional palette. At best, I can merely offer these suggestions to Hide the Pride.

1. Compliment others. Find your best features in other people and praise those qualities there rather than in yourself. “My trustworthy and rich friends have kindly supported my candidacy and I humbly thank them.” If seen as guilty of the same traits, the fault of the association is in the minds of the listener, not any self-congratulatory words of yours.
2. Swallow it. As bitter a dish as that might seem, remember you are the chef who created it. “In the interest of progress, let's forget our grievances and pool our resources.” Well, maybe wave the spoon for a final flourish so people can see your concession, but then it's over, right?
3. Prove it – do it again. Be your own naysayer to challenge whether your past achievements are mere fortune and flukes. “You ain't seen nothing yet!” People will be impressed with your tenacity and self-effacing attitude.
4. Include others. So little in life is accomplished alone. “I want to acknowledge my worthy opponent for all the novel ideas he brought to this contest. We all will be stronger as the race goes on without him and his contributions.” Nobody will remember those “novel ideas” were “crackpot schemes” a week ago nor recognize them by the time you retread them as your own.
5. Go where nobody knows your name. Nothing is quite so humbling as a lack of reputation to validate your ego. “What, do I look like a professional assassin? No, really, I have only done a couple of amateur jobs of more personal than financial interest to me.” With enough anonymity, even you will wonder who you are.
6. Shirk the honor. The trophy collecting dust after the deed adds nothing to the worthiness of the deed, but does refresh the complacency of been-there/done-that whenever passing in front of your eye. “Your thanks are more than I need; it was my privilege (duty, pleasure, good luck) to be the one to save (the day, the building, your pet, you).” Of course, there are those seeking to bathe in your glory in organizing the ceremony and conveying the award, but you spare them the unhealthy boost to their prides as well in eschewing those group hugs.
7. Fixate on your faults. How many teaspoons of self-loathing does it take to spoil a whole banquet of self-esteem? “Oh, I would gladly give up all my money to be more generous. But, alas, I am too suspicious of everyone.” The hopelessness of self-improvement (a feature of the disillusionment of Sloth) will prevent your need actually to fix your fixation, so you can reuse this check on your pride for years/decades to come.
8. Expand your vocabulary. Avoid “pride” and “proud” by learning to choose your words better. “I am very pleased in how you have grown, my son. Do your best in all you do. Be a patriotic American. Have you no shame, you jerk?” Maybe your underlying thoughts are the same, but you have broken the literal link. When it is your self thinking down the wrong path, is a bit of self-deception just what is needed to change the street signs along that route?

Whether our souls are held to account for transgressions in thought or only in deed is a matter of theological debate. But for me, my fine reader, you may be as proud of your success (or failure), your heritage, and your community as you please, as long as you permit me the same internal ground for strutting that stays off your toes. If you can control the gateway to prevent your unwholesome thoughts from pouring into activated behaviors treading upon us outside your egosphere, we should be content in the actuality of accord without frustrating ourselves in your internal battles to behave civilly. I make these suggestions to myself as well as you, but I do not proclaim excellence in my ability to apply them everyday. Let us practice together that we might separate the laudable rewards of Pride in doing right from the destructive temptation of Pride to lose care for the people and the world around us.