Maybe I Forgot a Few of These …

There was an old lady who lived for her shoes;
To make ends meet, she inked artistic tattoos.
When her closets were full, she covered the floor.
She had to stop when she couldn't open her front door.

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A tisket, a tasket,
Who took my little basket?
It rode on my handlebars
And held anything I asked it.

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Baa, baa, black sheep,
In your woolen coat,
Do you have some wool to share
Or are you a selfish goat?

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Hey diddle-diddle,
Pancakes on the griddle,
I hope you are done soon.
Syrup and butter are on the table
But I only have a spoon.

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Hickory, dickory, drench
Who gave the monkey a wrench?
He’s playing with pipes under the sink -
Hickory, dickory, drench.

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Humpty Dumpty sits on a wall -
It’s not a good idea at all.
With a bottom so much too round,
He will soon be smashed on the ground.

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I’m a little teapot, full and hot,
Hear my whistle with the steam I’ve got.
If they warn you, heed them you ought;
Burns are lessons you don’t want taught.

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It’s raining, it's boring,
We’re stuck here this morning.
Wifi’s down, no fun around,
And the kids just started warring.

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The itsy bitsy spider went on the web to play.
Spam pops up to try and spoil the day.
Put up a filter and block that stuff,
Then you can browse - there’s never enough.

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Jack and Jill went up a hill
But they couldn’t remember why.
Jack went home the way he’d come
And Jill looked for a new guy.

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Jack’s not nimble; Jill be quick!
Jack kicks over the candlestick.
Jill hurry, Jill think fast!
Put it out with a water glass!

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Little Bo Peep had lost her lamb;
And she searched all day to find her.
Lamb’s mad at the haircut she had,
So Bo promised to be kinder.

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Little Boy Blue, don’t blow your horn.
My head is pounding a beat
And my nerves are all worn.
I am hobbling off to my bed to sleep
And I ask you the peace to keep.
Will you wake me? Don’t you dare!
For if you do, I swear I’ll swear.

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Little Miss Muffet had a fine tuffet
Where she sat to eat lunch.
In flew a blue parrot to steal her one carrot,
But she chased it off with a punch.

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Mary had a little ham
With sweet yams on the side.
With everything that Mary ate,
No food could ever hide.

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One, two, where is my shoe?
Three, four, on the floor.
Five, six, the door sticks.
Seven, eight, I am late.
Nine, ten, in bed again.

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Rows, rows, rows of oats
Floating in my bowl.
Cereally, cereally, cereally, cereally
Make my wheat toast whole.

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Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
Can you tell me what you are?
Looking through my lens of glass
I see blazing balls of gas.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
Keep your fire out there afar.

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Wee Willie Winkle sleepwalks at night,
In his pink p.j.’s, he’s quite a sight.
He roams in the hallway, wanders out the door;
You’d think he’d get mighty cold.
Barefoot on the floor.

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Little Jack Horner
Tried to warn her
The pizza was too hot.
She emptied her lungs
When she burned her tongue
And then she took off like a shot.

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Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
What you got in the pot?
Oh, Officer, dear,
There’s nothing here.
By you, I will never be caught.

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Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get a treat Dog would like.
But she recalled with a stop
That she had forgot to shop
And now her dog is on strike.

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