Escape on the
Plane of the Apes
(the maybe true story of
Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370)
Story/scene synopsis:
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia,
0005 (12:05 a.m.) on March 8, 2014:
Scenes of happy families and
bustling business people getting onboard the overnight flight to
Beijing. The piloting crew are doing their pre-flight checklist as
the stewardesses (and token male steward required by Hollywood PC
Practice Board) are settling passengers into their seats. Two
heavily bundled “special medical needs” passengers in wheelchairs
are traveling in front row of first class with their own attendants
who wave off any need for assistance (or interference) from the
flight crew.
Cut to: Cargo loading into
belly of the MH370 aircraft. Six large crates (with airholes) are
being put onboard. Marking on the outside indicate delivery to the
Beijing Zoo. The manifest is written in Chinese and English, but
only says “Live specimens”. A workman attempts to peer through
one of the airholes to see what is in the crate, but it is too dark,
and he is quickly ordered to get back to work because they need to
close up and get this flight out on schedule.
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia,
0040 (12:40 a.m.) on March 8, 2014:
Cockpit as the flight takes
off. Normal routine. Coach passenger area – typical chatter and
settling in for a red-eye flight. First class passenger area –
normal; “special” passengers are still tightly (and obscurely)
bundled up and apparently asleep.
South China Sea, 0120 on
March 8, 2014:
Mostly
passengers are dozing or quietly reading, working on laptops, etc.
The pilots make a routine check-in with air traffic, stating the time
and the all system a-ok status.
South China Sea, 0122 on
March 8, 2014:
Quiet
passengers as before. Shot moves to the “special” passengers.
Their attendants are alert, perhaps even nervously expectant. A hand
emerges from under the wrapping of one of the special passengers –
long fingers and red-furred coated. It is an orangutan (specifically
a Borneo orangutan, but only the primatologists in the audience would
know the difference).
Cut
to: Cargo hold. A similar hand is working a latching mechanism
inside one of the crates. The crate side falls and out steps a large
male orangutan. In quick succession the other five crates open and
three more males and two females emerge. They appear to confer in
guttural sounds and hand motions. They move towards a door leading
out of the cargo bay into a subfloor mechanical systems area and then
up a ladder to a hatch into the passenger area above.
As
the cargo orangutans emerge towards the back of the plane, the
first-class orangutans jump out of their seats and run to the cockpit
door. With their superhuman strength, they batter down and tear off
the door. The four males from the cargo hold take up strategic and
scattered positions amongst the passengers and scream threateningly.
The two females run forward to first class, join the two working on
the door (both large males), and turn to face the first class
passengers. They are plenty frightening also.
As
the cockpit is breached, the two “first class” males rush in.
The co-pilot has risen out of his seat as if to investigate when the
door comes off – he is knocked down hard by one of the intruders
who continues on to grab the pilot. The navigator is knocked out of
his seat by the other ape, collides with the wall, and slides to the
deck unconscious. Having overcome/subdued the cockpit crew, the two
apes turn as their human attendants enter the cockpit. One (let's
say “she” (Natasha) for this one and “he” (Boris) for the
other, but casting can decide later on the specific gender and
ethnicity) points to two locations in the cockpit and says “There.
And there”. The ape that knock down the navigator (let's call him
Clyde), smashing a fist down where she pointed – destroying much of
the navigator's other control circuitry. The other (throttling the
pilot, let's call him Sam) flips the other switch off. She looks at
Clyde with exasperation. Clyde sheepishly shrugs.
Boris
moves into the co-pilot seat while Sam deposits the unconscious pilot
back into his seat. He studies the controls, familiarizing himself
with their reading and confirming his general understanding of the
working of Boeing 777. After a while, Natasha displays some
impatience and asks “well, can you fly it or not?” Boris is both
annoyed and confident. Perhaps not really yet prepared, he grabs the
controls and starts to bank the plane into a turn. There is a sudden
drop in altitude. Boris over-corrects and the plane climbs rapidly.
Natasha gives Boris the same look of exasperation she gave Clyde
earlier as he struggles to get the plane under control. As the plane
levels off and flies smoothly, Boris confidently says, “next stop,
Sumatra”.
South China Sea, 0132 on
March 8, 2014:
The
first-class passengers have all been moved back to coach and the
first class section now holds all the crew members. They sit with
their hands bound with zip-ties, guarded by the two females (Mopsy
and Flopsy). The pilot is still out, the navigator is moaning, and
the co-pilot feigning more severe injuries, fearfully hoping to not
draw any attention to himself. Natasha is in first-class. Her
trenchcoat is open enough to show the Orangutans Worldwide Liberation
Society (OWLS) emblem over her right breast. Boris has the same
patch similarly located. The four cargo males are menacingly
patrolling the coach section. The passengers are all properly cowed,
but nobody is sleeping now. One not-easily-distracted businessman is
still busily working on a presentation he needs to have ready for a
morning meeting.
In
the cockpit, Clyde sits at the navigator's station while Sam is in
the pilot's chair. They are both largely out of the bundling clothes
they wore to get onboard, but they do have on t-shirts with the OWLS
logo. Sam is wearing the pilot's hat. Boris is still in the
co-pilot's seat. Boris seems to have gotten the knack of flying this
particular plane and is arguing with Sam (in both voice and
pantomime-hand signals) about who is really the captain of this
flight and not to be touching any of the instruments and controls.
Clyde is playing with wires and components which are exposed and/or
hang out of the keyboard at the navigator's workstation – he gets
an occasional shock.
In
first-class, the head stewardess confronts Natasha and asks why they
are doing this. An exposition is given in the dialog between them
about the unification of the orangutans of Borneo and Sumatra. The
Borneo orangutans are on a mission to assist and organize the Sumatra
group which is much closer to extinction. Natasha demonstrates the
ability to communicate via hand signals and speech with Mopsy and
Flopsy (something like “Bring me and Stewardess Jane martinis.
Make mine very dry.”)
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia,
0145 on March 8, 2014:
Air
traffic controllers are discussing the absence of the routine
check-in of flight MH370. Suggestions about relaying concerns to
Vietnam and China air traffic are made, but it is not considered
important enough to “wake up the old man”.
Peninsular Malaysia, 0215
March 8, 2014:
Natasha
comes in the cockpit to check up on the progress on their plan.
Boris, Sam, and Clyde all simultaneously give her a “thumbs up”.
She asks how much farther they have to go. At this, Boris is a bit
more vague and uncertain. The destruction of most of the navigation
station is discussed. They seem to be able to ping the GPS
satellites, but they are not receiving updates from the worldsat or
ground control systems on their exact location. Boris assures
Natasha he can get “close enough” by dead reckoning with the
onboard system to find Sumatra and their destination. Natasha gives
that exasperated expression again.
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia,
0215 on March 8, 2014:
Another
thirty minutes have passed without word from MH370. It is now 1 hour
and 25 minutes into the flight, and they have had no contact for 55
minutes. Vietnam and China have reported that they have not heard or
seen anything either. Air traffic controllers play
rock-paper-scissors to see who puts in the call to “the old man”
(the loser, of course).
Straits of Malacca,
Indonesia, 0245 on March 8, 2014:
Boris is oscillating between
looking out the cockpit windows (and seeing nothing) and reading the
instruments on the panels in front of him. He decides to decrease
elevation, but again over-steers and goes into a rapid and bumpy
descent before he is able to guide the plane into a smoother flight.
Sam looks at him quizzically and Clyde issues several loud protesting
cries. Boris remarks to Clyde that he was not the one who broke the
navigation system.
Once the plane's bouncing
calms down, Natasha comes rushing into the cockpit, demanding to know what the problem is. Boris explains that he thinks he might have
overflown Indonesia. He is not sure how, but he does not see what he
was expecting (cannot really see anything). He suggests that if they
descend and go north (or maybe even NNE) they should get back to see
the western shoreline and then they can follow it to their
destination. Natasha, exasperated, leaves the cockpit. She repeats
the hand signal she used earlier to Mopsy to order a martini. Then
she puts up two fingers to make it double.
Andaman Sea, off coast of
Myanmar, 0315 on March 8, 2014:
Boris is arguing with Sam
again. “How do you know what the jungles of Sumatra look like?
No, I not sure either. I suppose it could be the mainland. Okay,
okay, we will go west if you want to. Remember this one is on you
when Natasha wants somebody's ass to chew.”
Indian Ocean, 0345 on
March 8, 2014:
“Oh, go ahead. You fly it
for a while if you want to. I am going to get drunk. How did I ever
decide to go into world wildlife conservation in the first place?”
THE END (or is it? Wait
for the sequel: Return of the Plane of the Apes)
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